I'm a 29-year-old male who has never been on a date or even been close to having one. So I have been single all my life and never had any type of experience with a relationship. This is really hurting me and at times it really hurts, and I want that to change and I'm not sure what to do. So I am reaching out on here for help.
Here are some details about me if it matters. I'm from New England. I would be considered a nerd but am open to trying things I wouldn't do. I guess I am into things a typical nerd is into, and go to conventions in my area like Comic-Con and PAX East. Recently I did something I have never done which is going to my past school's gym, it's free, to gain weight and muscle, I've always been considered underweight. So I am trying new things, even tried an obstacle course gym earlier this year.
I guess my main issue is I don't really know anyone other than my family when it comes to going out. My parents weren't the best to me and abusive, they had much control so I never learned to be myself and to grow. I didn't go out really at all during my childhood years and didn't have friends. I have always been considered quiet but I'm not sure that's true. But I have fears and phobias from the things that happened from my childhood, which involve my parents. So I am very stuck now and feel very isolated that it is this way, and hopeless at times it's going to change.
All I know is dating apps to meet women that would be interested in me, and I never been any closer to a date. I use Tinder, Bumble, and OkCupid, it's hard enough getting a match and when I do they don't reply or one response and that's it. I think I am good with my messages and have creative ways but it doesn't matter. It could be my profile pics that need a change, I've looked into getting professional pictures that are for dating apps. But in the end, I have never been on a date.
I'm not sure how I would do on a date but last year I did do Geek Speed Dating at Rhode Island Comic Con and it was a first for me. I was nervous inside but I didn't allow me not to do it. There weren't many women that participated, only about 10, two of them were older, but I was really disappointed that I didn't get a single number in the end. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do that, get a number from a woman. I went to the Con alone since I didn't anyone, so it was a big downer.
I have looked into local events in Providence, Emo Night and Cosplay Night at a bar. I wish I could go but I don't know anyone to go with, I'd be a stranger and I think I would feel out of place. I should have mentioned I don't drink, I don't think it's for me. I think I would be keeping to myself and not talk to anyone unless they start a conversation with me. I wish I knew someone who could go with me to events like this and guide me through. But I was more concerned that how would I eventually go on a date? I don't know how that would happen when it's never happened to me, I mean asking someone out.
It's really disappointing that teenagers have more experience that I have with all of this and I am going to be 30 this year. I don't know where to look and how to overcome this. I have looked into dating coaching in my area. Unless you have experienced not going on a date at my age and wanting to have someone in your life, you wouldn't know how those feelings of loneliness bring you down inside. I'm hoping that this will change though, with changes in my life and asking for help, which I don't do.
So if you are reading this, thank you for doing so. If you have any questions, advice, or anything please feel free to post or if need be PM me. I'd be grateful for anything. Thanks!
tl;dr: Never been on a date at 29 going on 30 or had a relationship, looking for advice/help to change this.
Submitted April 25, 2019 at 04:00PM by AnoobAtLife http://bit.ly/2XN3w37
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