I (f/28) have been in a relationship with my SO (31/m) for almost 6 years now. How should i feel about him being mentally attracted to another woman (someone he talk and texts, hasn't met)?

I (f/28) have been in a relationship with my SO (31/m) for almost 6 years now and we have known each other for 10 years. We are, most of the times, not living in the same city due to our respective careers.

​

He told me recently, that he wanted to explore other people, be free to have sex with other people. He was curious. He would do the same for me. I was free to do whatever i wanted as far as he was concerned. i never felt like having sex with other people. But I don't want him to feel bound. I told him that he is free to do whatever he wanted, it's his life. We are friends first and always. May be we won't be lovers anymore but i wouldn't want to lose him as a friend in life. But he said he doesn't want to do it coz he is quite sure that i'm going to be devastated if it happens. And he is probably right.

But somehow i feel like, that isn't why he shouldn't do it. If he wanted to have sex with other people, then he shouldn't be in a relationship with me anyway, considering i'm not someone who will be okay with it. Or is it okay to suppress his feelings ? I don't know.

​

He has found someone on the internet that he finds himself attracted to, mentally. They talk over the phone and text , haven't met in person. She is well read and articulate and i understand that that's attractive. He said he feels a tension between them. I let him know that that worries me. Being friends is one thing and feeling attracted towards someone is another. He said that it's like how i felt this one random night at the club when i was dancing with another woman. (there was this silly, fleeting attraction on a drunk night between me and a girl at the bar, and we were all just dancing. Also I'm not bisexual. {he wasn't there, i told him about it later}).

​

I am insecure about who i am, i always felt that he could do better than me.. and that person is probably better than me. May be that's why i'm afraid that he will fall in love with someone else, coz he most probably isn't in love with me anymore.. but waiting for it to happen eventually is too painful. Or am i just overthinking this?

​

I don't know what to think and feel anymore.

​

tl;dr : how should I (28/f) feel about my SO (31/m) feeling mentally attracted to another woman?

Submitted April 04, 2019 at 03:53AM by newfiddle http://bit.ly/2I1nbbA