Hi everyone, I hope you're all having a great weekend! Like the title says, I'm just feeling really isolated and alone. And to make matters worse my identical twin is having the time of her life right now while I'm stuck in my room.
Some info: my sister depends on me heavily when we socialise with new people. It's always the same formula. I want to meet new people, she shames me saying all I do is embarrass her, finally step up and talk to someone, she starts talking to them, insults and knitpicks everything I say and do and who I am as person, new found acquaintance sees how my own sister treats me and does the same, she becomes preferred, seen as the cool out going one while I'm the terrible lousy sister of her and finally I am just left in the dust. Wondering if it's something I said, is it because I'm the ugly one, why don't they like me?
It's been like this for years and for years to come. We get a guy friend, she rips me apart and then gets with him. Which is fine, but I get pushed to the role of "oh my girlfriend's sister" and when they break up I become "Fuck, my ex's sister". Not the friend I used to be, even if my sister made it about her. Also I am not allowed to talk to them as my sister says I am betraying her and even compared it to her talking to the nearly grown man sexual harasser stalker I had as a 15 year old. As if that is any way comparable. Going on to say she won't be my sister anymore if I talk to my previous friends. I told her what she does to me is hurtful and restricting me isn't fair, but she just explodes in my face, says hurtful things and just carries on.
I live in a small town and go to a tiny, tiny school and I don't do group activities as a hobby. I love poetry and art for example. I have no problem speaking to people, I just don't know how to find them. I feel so socially inept and I just wish I could make friends outside of my sister. All my internet friends say I'm cool and at this point it's hard to believe it. How come these amazing ans kind people love spending time with me through a dinky screen but no one in person? It's gotten to the point where I don't want to be around people because I get ripped to shreds with insults and passive aggressive comments. And I am going to be with her in uni for another 4 to 7 years. My heart is literally hurting while typing this. My parents are totally disinterested in my qualms.
Please help me reddit, I don't know what to do. I know I'm just some sad, desperate kid but I just need some advice. Sorry if this annoying or not in the right sub.
TL;DR: My twin insults me in front of any and all friends/potential friends so they like her more and look better. How do I meet people outside of this? I feel so socially inept.
Edit: thanks for all the advice! It's really helpful :). Please don't suggest I move school as my family can't afford another school and I do a specific private curriculum as the 3rd world state one doesn't cut it for European countries. Thank you :D
Submitted April 27, 2019 at 09:44AM by QuartzTitan http://bit.ly/2INzmZW
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