Friend Group [all 21F-25F] Have Socially Excluded My Friend [23F] From Our Circle Of Friends. Said It Was A Personality Clash After One Year Of Friendship.

Hi r/relationships!

My friend [23F] of one year recently came to me last night and told me she was leaving the friend group because she feels she is being unfairly treated by one girl in particular. I had no idea any of this was happening as I am a very chill person and refuse to get into any sort of drama if it doesn't involve me [26F].

A bit of background for you all:

2 years ago, I met a group of girls through uni and we all really hit it off. There was initially 7 of us in the beginning but as friendships established, a smaller, tight knit group of 4 girls formed. I am not part of this inner circle but I couldn't care less because I am busy and don't have time for social outings anyway. I talk to everyone in the group and have always been kind because I like to follow the treat others how you would like to be treated motto.

Cue the entry of my friend [23F] who, admittedly, is not a very emotionally resilient person. I don't know too much about her history, just that she has a hard time making friends and does her best to fit in with everyone.

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The situation as it stands:

I feel like I am being brought into my friend's [23F] drama even though I had no knowledge of this happening. I was sent multiple screenshots of text conversations between my friend and other mutual friends. I feel like I don't have the whole story though and my friend [23F] has asked me not to go "stir the pot anymore"... I feel like that's an unfair request because it seems to me that she just needs someone to validate her feelings by manipulating the messages I was sent. In saying that though, the screenshots I read seem like my friend is being bullied and socially excluded without being given any closure other than "a personality clash" after they had been close friends for over a year.

Furthermore, I have known these other friends for 2 years and I have always thought they communicated well with each other whenever there is an issue.

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From my understanding:

My friend was being ghosted by this other girl in the group and she has basically harassed the other girl by repeatedly sending messages and asking the other girl why she won't talk to my friend. I think it was wrong of the other girl to not come out and say why in the first place. My friend then asked mutual friends if they knew anything and the mutual friends told her to leave the other girl alone. My friend then, in her own words, had a breakdown and told the mutual friends that the other girl was being a "bitch" and "mean" plus some other nasty things.

The other girl then sends a huge text message explaining how my friend has overstepped boundaries and was told her *her* friends about all the horrible things my friend was saying behind the other girl's back. The mutual friends obviously know more about what's happening and I do trust their judgement in backing the other girl up.

I wish I could add more, but I only have one side of the story and I did not see my friend's earlier messages, only the messages from the mutual friends who are bullying her by effectively excluding her.

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My question: What would you do in this situation? This drama doesn't involve me and I am on good terms with everyone and I would like to keep it that way. I have spoken to my friend and told her that yes, she is being treated poorly, but why would she want to be friends with people who won't even openly communicate with her? She doesn't expect me to choose sides but I am about her only friend (outside of her relationship with her long-term boyfriend). I want to be more supportive because I don't condone bullying in any shape or form, but my gut is telling me to stay out of it.

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TL;DR: Have a friend that lots of mutual friends are indifferent to or find annoying. The friend wants to continue being socially included but has effectively burned all bridges with everyone except me. What would you do?

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(I apologise if the formatting is terrible. Posting noob here!)

Submitted March 31, 2019 at 03:22PM by Firebolt01 https://ift.tt/2UpXxmE