My (21m) best friend (19f) always seems to cheat on her boyfriend. I always get caught in the middle and want to know if I should continue giving her chances or cut my losses?

Hi guys. First time poster. On mobile. Sorry about the formatting etc.

So let me throw in some backstory. I’m a junior in college and this girl is a year behind me. We’ve known each other since I was a junior in high school where we went to school together, so we’ve known each other for almost 5 years now and we’ve been best friends that whole time.

Because of this, we were obviously very close. For a long time we would see and talk to each other every day. We’d gossip and spend the night together and for a while we were even planning on moving in together. (I should mention that I am gay, and am in no way attracted to her and I don’t believe she has feelings for me in that way, just so that doesn’t misdirect the advice I’m looking for).

For reference in this story my best friends name in this will be Jordyn. All other names will be fake but the people and the stories are real.

So when I met Jordyn she was single but she definitely didn’t stay that way long. She started dating a friend from school in our group of friends who’s name will be Carter. Jordyn and Carter dated for about 9 months, and for 6 of those months Jordyn was regularly having sex with Michael. Meanwhile Michael had been in a relationship for almost 6 months and had been cheating on her (she’ll be Amber) almost the entire time.

I found out that Jordyn and Michael were cheating on there significant others, and because of certain circumstances I won’t go into, I had to live with Amber during the end my senior year of high school. Amber found out what was going on from me, which led to Carter finding out, which led to Jordyn wanting nothing to do with me and blaming me for getting her caught, and also led to Michael trying to kill himself. Big mega mess that by now has otherwise been resolved.

Jordyn and Carter broke up. Amber forgave Michael and they’re still together now.

The problem is Jordyn started dating someone else 6 months later. Three months into that relationship she was cheating on him with Carter. Again I was the reason her boyfriend found out she was getting involved with someone else. This happened my freshman year of college while I was still close with my group of friends at that time.

When she went to college, she came to the same school I am still at now because we’re both not super wealthy and it’s close enough to commute. She started dating this guy at our school and because he wasn’t super close with our friends I guess she thought she was in the clear because he wouldn’t find out.

Jordyn recently celebrated her 19th birthday and in that same week a few days later, we went to a work party with a mutual friend that I was working with at the time. This friend will be Josselyn. Josselyn had a cousin who worked with us and I agree with Jordyn that he is very attractive. Him and Jordyn had a thing for each other and he was at the party and came with us to the bar that night. Afterwards they ended up at another coworkers house and had sex. I had gone home but found out from Josselyn what had happened.

At the time Jordyn and her current boyfriend were “on a break” but being on a break means taking time to figure out whether or not you still want to be together, not using that time to sleep around. For a few days I stressed about it and decided that her boyfriend should know what she did. I didn’t talk to her about it first as she’s lied about it in the past and felt that if I consulted her first I wouldn’t ever get the chance to tell him again.

After I told him, she unadded me on everything and didn’t say a word. Her and the guy are still together because she told him that she had sex with someone else but spun it to sound as if it was just because she was too drunk. I know she was sober and that she fully intended at the start of the night to have sex with him. She had begged Josselyn to take them to the coworkers house because she thought she had a shot with her cousin, she picked the lock on the car door so they could lay in the backseat of Josselyn’s car, and she specifically set out to have everyone leave (they went to Taco Bell and left Jordyn and Josselyn’s cousin alone) so they would have privacy and then proceeded to call her boyfriend while she was having sex with Josselyn’s cousin.

When Jordyn unadded me and stopped talking to me I didn’t reach out and decided I didn’t need a friend like that and I felt I was better off without her.

About a week ago she reached out and wanted to talk things over because she “wasn’t mad anymore.” We were friends for a long time and figured the least I owed her was time to talk. We met somewhere public and it seemed okay but I don’t think I should get involved in a friendship with her again. I told her that we always fight whenever I tell her boyfriends that she cheating and she always seems to feel the need to cheat.

I’m now realizing how long this really is, and I’m very sorry. It ended up being a lot more than I originally thought it would be. But long story short, does anybody have any advice for me on this topic. I do care about her and want to see her be better and sometimes it seems like she’s making progress and then it blows up in my face and I’m left feeling guilty for her actions.

For anyone who stuck around and read this whole thing please help me decide what to do. Do I give her another chance or is enough enough and just cut her off completely?

Edit: when I say she intended at the start of the night to have sex with him, I want to clarify that I know that intention didn’t change and that she actively was trying to get with him. Afterwards she was still all over him cuddling and making out with him, and proceeded to call her boyfriend to confirm her plans with him the next day. I’m say this because this level of lying and dissociation with reality is genuinely concerning to me as I’m starting to legitimately worry about her mental health.

TL;DR - My best friend consistently cheats on her boyfriend. I always seem to get caught in the middle and it makes me feel guilty. I don’t know what to do.

Submitted March 27, 2019 at 11:14AM by PeterParker311 https://ift.tt/2CEJjo4