I believe my friend (25M) is in an abusive relationship, and that everyone would be much more concerned if he was a woman in this situation.

My (23F) friend, Jake (23M) has been seeing this girl, Anne (22F) for a few months now. They moved in together after only a couple weeks of dating, and 3 months of know each other. It was strange and everyone scratched their heads at it.

These are the signs to me the relationship is extremely unhealthy and borderline emotionally abusive. I might be sensitive to any signs of this because I’ve been abused and am not sure if I’m being fair, so I’d like people’s opinions.

Anne doesn’t let Jake attend any social event without her. It doesn’t have to be partying - if our group is meeting for lunch and she can’t make it, even if he is free, Anne doesn’t want him to go.

Jake can’t be alone with any other girls, under any circumstances. She is extremely paranoid about any girl that’s around him, including me, even though there is zero history or interest between us.

She also got upset at past photos on his social media with other girls (even non-girlfriends/hookups) and made him delete the photos, saying to keep them up would be “disrespectful” to her - some of them were years old.

Anne regularly looks through his phone to check up that he’s not hiding anything. When he doesn’t text her for more than maybe 10-20 min when they’re not together she starts freaking out. Demands to see his location from snapchat at all times. (He has never cheated on her or been close, to my knowledge he’s a very faithful bf).

Anne publicly berates him. She criticizes his appearance a lot, saying he shouldn’t order the fries instead of salad since he’s “getting fat,” constant comments along that nature.

Jake does everything for her. We’re all in the same uni, he arguably has a heavier workload than her, yet she gets him to write her essays/other work.

Anne has now isolated from his friends entirely. While fighting one day, he told Anne that our group doesn’t like her (we’ve made a couple comments). They made up, and now he isn’t “allowed” to see us anymore and had to block us on social media.

According to her, we’re trying to tear them apart and want to ruin their happiness. Only thing is, I’ve never seen him less happy. He always seems extremely stressed out and like a shell of himself.

There’ve also been a couple occasions where she’s thrown things at him, like shoes.

The guys in our group just act like it’s nothing and girlfriends can be like this - I feel if the gender was reversed and our friend was the girl in this relationship, they’d be concerned.

Should I get involved in this and try reaching out, or just leave it be?

Tl;dr my friend’s girlfriend is extremely controlling and takes it to extreme lengths, treats him poorly and isolates him from his friends. The rest of the group isn’t that concerned, I believe if he were a woman they would be. Should I say/ do anything, or just leave it be?

Submitted March 27, 2019 at 06:41PM by grgal123 https://ift.tt/2U34lYh