My best friend, who I have known since elementary school, recently asked me on a date and the conversation implied she wanted to enter into a relationship. I suspect, based on her past behavior, that she has a lot deeper feelings that she has not yet revealed to me. I haven't told her yet if I want to go or not with her on a date.
I have had feelings for a long time for her, but resisted the urge to tell her for a couple reasons. One was my fear of loosing our friendship. Now that she has asked me on a date, in a perfect world, I would be ecstatic. However and this brings me to my second reason, I am ambivalent of entering into any relationships because of my job. My job has highly irregular and inconsistent long working hours. Some weeks I am working close to 70 hours a week. Sometimes I am called in the middle of night, sometimes I have to travel on extremely short notice. At the same time, my job is somewhat dangerous. There can be several days in a row when I don't have anything to do and I might suddenly get called somewhere. There will be occasions where I can't tell anyone where I am going.
I am not sure if my friend is ready for this. She knows about my job, but what she may not know or realize is the stress and loneliness such an environment can place on a relationship. I myself haven't dated in almost four years because any relationships I had would invariably break up because I simply didn't have time for them.
Some of my colleagues are in relationships or are married. Their SOs have to sacrifice much. Some are happy, but I have seen many of the older colleagues end up divorced. I have heard of many break-ups because the colleague simply wasn't there.
I do not intend to stop working at this place. While I find my work stressful, it is extremely interesting and there is a satisfaction that is hard to get in other places.
On one hand, if we enter into a relationship and she decides that this type of environment is not for her, we will break up and I will end up loosing a friend. On the other hand, she is a wonderful person who I completely trust and who understands me.
Should I enter into a relationship with her? Should I talk about my job hindering our relationship when we go to our date or should I discuss them with her beforehand? How should I talk about these things?
TL;DR My best friend from childhood has recently asked me on a date and admitted to some feelings for me. I have had feelings for her too for a long time. However, my job has long hours. The hours can be irregular and inconsistent. I can be called up at any time. My job requires travel and can be dangerous. I haven't dated in the past 4 years because of these reasons. I don't know if I should enter into a relationship with her, and if I do, how should I frame these issues.
Submitted February 25, 2019 at 07:08PM by WorkingRazzmatazz https://ift.tt/2GJ6MYI
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