Long-distance dream trip with my (28F) friend (28F) next month but she hasn't responded to my planning at all.

So I feel like in the scheme of things this isn't a massive problem, but I'm not sure how to navigate with my friend.

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I've always wanted to go to NZ and even tried to save up and go once in my late teens, which ended up falling through due to other events in my life. My friend (let's call her Paula) knows this and when we were talking last year about places we still haven't visited, NZ naturally came up. We both agreed that we should go together. It was exciting but a bit scary, as we've never travelled together and three weeks in a distant country is a bit of a commitment. My fiance (29M) didn't particularly want to go there himself, so he was happy that I'd found someone to go with.

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I started planning immediately and coming up with dates, but tried to keep messages to a minimum as I know I'm a "planner" and didn't want to be overbearing. I just suggested dates and eventually we booked our flights. We did this separately so I took the fact that she'd bought her flights as a good sign.

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Since then, I've messaged several times about planning and trying to work out where we'll actually go/stay, and haven't received any real response other than "sorry I've been lame, been on the road recently. Promise we'll get planning soon!" as she travels a lot for work and leisure. To her I guess this is nothing special and just a drop in the ocean of her wider travels, but for me it's a big deal and I've waited a long time to do this.

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It's now a month until we're due to go and there's been hardly any response. Nothing concrete to do with planning at all. I wish it could be as simple as "she's not coming" but she spent a lot on flights and is actually going to stay on there after I go home. She probably feels no rush to plan anything as she'll have ages to do everything.

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What was meant to be an exciting lead-up to our trip has turned into me actively avoiding thinking about it. My family keep asking if I'm looking forward to going and I just try and change the subject.

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Am I right to feel annoyed at Paula, or are we just different style travellers?

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TL;DR: Friend was enthusiastic about long-distance trip, has since been hard to contact and not responded to any planning. She's booked flights and plans to stay there after I go home, though!

Submitted February 26, 2019 at 01:50PM by NZdreamer1990 https://ift.tt/2EdicAu