I am writing here as I feel really sad and looking for advice. I have been married for three years and we dated for 2 years. My husband's family doesn't live in the same country as us. His parents love the country they are from and never wanted to move out. They send him here to study instead and my husband ended up staying. He was never closer to his parents or rest of his family. I am a very family oriented person and it would surprise me that he was like this. I always encouraged him to go meet them as they are going old and he will regret it. He never cared how ever.
Now last year finally his parents decided to come visit us. They came for six months. My husband's sister had moved here and he told me they will most likely divide the time between the two children and so it would be ok and I agreed it would be fine. Well it wasn't fine. My husband and I had such terrible fights the entire time they were here. His parents come from a different culture where I had to hear sexist comments. If my husband and I are sitting together and spending time, his parents will come join us and not give us any space. They never went to his sister's place so every day for six months, every meal, even evening was with them. If my husband and I are sitting together, his mom will come and ask him to come to her instead and take him away.
My husband is no innocent participant. We did not have sex or any intimate encounter a month in. He would come back from work and spend time with them till it was time to go to bed. I spoke to him many times about this. How I miss our intimacy. How I need space from them. But it so fell on deaf ears. I even asked him to speak to his sister, but he says he is not close to her and cannot. Once we invited our friends over for dinner and his parents sat with us the the entire time. They completely dominated the conversation and sat there chatting. We paid for their tickets and for everything during this trip. They come from a culture where the son is expected to pay and they never offered. After six months of this, they came and left with no gift to me. Every Saturday morning they will ask my husband what is his plan for them that day. They had no sense to leave us alone. Our relationship suffered so much and all we did was fight the entire time. For these six months we did not do even one activity together and discussed divorce many times. When they finally left, things went back to normal.
Now, they plan on visiting us again. I am getting anxiety just thinking about this. I spoke to him and told him how much he had changed with them around and the maximum I can handle is them being over for a month. My husband tells me since they are coming from a different country and have the six months option, it's not a good value for their money to just come for a month. They would want to come for a lot longer. Also he tells me he cannot tell them to not come for so long and how rude that is. Neither can he talk to his sister and get her to agree to live with them. This has led to stress now and my husband has become really quiet. He tells me he is unhappy with my one month cap. That they are getting old and he regrets not spending time with them earlier. He feels depressed that I am not letting him spend more time with then. What should I do in this situation? I love him and it hurts me to see him unhappy, but I feel like we will really ended up divorced if I have to live with them for another six months.
TL/DR: husband's parents want to visit for 6 months and it is causing lots of stress in our relationship.
Submitted February 28, 2019 at 02:16AM by xactly2020 https://ift.tt/2Xu0HVj
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