UPDATE: My (22f) Aunt (50f) might be getting baited by a guy she 'met' on instagram and I don't know how to talk to her about it.

Original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/anrfe8/my_22f_aunt_50f_might_be_getting_baited_by_a_guy/

So, a couple people asked for an update. Hope I'm formatting it right.

After making the original post, I couldn't get the situation off my mind - it was driving me nuts and really just stressing me out. I talked it over with my mom, and asked my aunt to send me some pics of 'Andy'. She asked why, and I told her that I wanted to compare them to the painting of him she'd started.

So I acquired the pictures, then did a reverse image search as many of you suggested. Thank goodness she sent me more than one picture of the guy, because only the last one got a hit, but from there, it was smooth sailing. Turns out the REAL guy is a poplar instagram model. He's got info about him being a Marine, and having a dog with the same name as Andy's dog right in his bio. This dude was so lazy he just lifted the real man's basic info.

The DOG even has an instagram, and I found more photos Andy sent to her. And to make my life even easier, the real guy has a series of videos up in his Highlights section labeled 'SCAMMERS'. I watched them and basically it was him addressing what to do if someone is being catfished with his pics. I was super nervous, but confident I had what I needed.

So from there, I slept on it, and then asked my aunt if I could come visit. My mom helped me stay calm beforehand, and the worst part leading up to it was standing in their house saying hello and just waiting to drop the bomb.

I started off with saying 'there's actually a reason i'm here. I have something to tell you, and you won't like it.'

I explained my motives for getting Andy's pics, the reverse image search, and finding the real guy. I pulled up his profile, and the dog's, and let her scroll through it while answering questions she and my grandma had. She tried to call Andy, text him, and just...it was weird guys. She used the phrase "I'll go psycho on his ass" in several variants. She never struck me as that type of person, but she was just blowing him up, and of course, when she FINALLY got ahold of him, and asked him to explain what I'd found. ugh, his voice. She had him on speakerphone.

"Baby, what you saying?" (this was basically his answer to everything she said.)

"Baby, we don't need this. You just gotta trust."

I wanted to grab the phone and tell him to cut his crap, but didn't. I stayed a couple more hours, answering questions, trying to console her. Apparently they'd actually been talking for like...two years? I'm torn on whether or not to believe that, bc as much as I love my aunt, i know from experience she can bend the truth to fit delusions sometimes. Anyways.

My grandma, who was there the whole time, was being her usual brusque self, so I pulled her aside and tried to explain that this wasn't the time for tough love, but for the band-aid-and-kisses type of motherly support. She agreed, and thanked me, saying that she's been seeing my aunt 'change', but she didn't say how. After we went back into the main room, she was trying to be a little more sensitive, but it doesn't come naturally to her.

From there, I needed to go to work and take care of something before the work day ended.

Since then, unfortunately, it seems that despite my warnings that she would not get anything that could be guaranteed as the truth out of Andy, she insisted on 'demanding explanations' and now he's got her convinced that everything they had was real, and that a friend had dared him into the deception. So now, according to her, "they are talking, and there's a lot of trust to rebuild."

I'm saddened by the turn of events, but I did my job, and she's an adult who has to make her own choices. I'm trying to let go of the outcome, which obviously wasn't he one I hoped for, and to not feel hurt. I know she's going through a lot emotionally, and that it was silly to hope my intervention would change things. Hopefully, she'll see the truth of it sooner rather than later, and I can have played a part in that.

Tl;dr: I found the instagram of the real guy that Andy was stealing pics from, and took the information to my aunt to tell her she was being catfished. She cried, asked questions, I comforted for a few hours then left, advising her to cut off contact with him. Unfortunately she didn't, since then, he's told her 'it was a dare' and they are 'talking and rebuilding trust.'

Submitted February 28, 2019 at 10:28AM by ShyFossa https://ift.tt/2H9Hdzl