My (30m) family loves my ex and is expressing that openly in front of my current girlfriend (27f). It is damaging our relationship.

I was in a relationship with my ex for 7 years and it ended 4 years ago. She was getting along with my parents (especially mother) and sisters really well and she was even living with us during our studies.

I understand that after living with her for years and her being the part of our lives for so long they are fond of her. However, she dumped me (she felt she outgrew our relationship and felt too young to commit forever) and it hurt me a lot. Despite of the fact that I suffered a lot when she left me, they still like her.

A year ago I met my current girlfriend and she is amazing, she helped me a lot to get over some issues I still had from my previous relationship. I am finally happy again.

The problem is, my family is still openly fond of my ex and they are not hiding it at all.

Few examples: Pictures including her, her postcards etc all around my parents flat.

Mixing info about my gf and my ex repeatedly. ‘It is so cool that you do swimming’ - she doesn’t, but my ex did.

Stories including my ex or even about her: Oh it was so good that ex’s mum was a cook, we loved to go there to eat etc. They also tell stories mentioning that she was great, pretty, similar to my gf in some regards.

It is affecting my girlfriend a lot. At the beginning she didn’t complain and she always told me she understood they cared about my ex. But after few months her mood got worse anytime she met my family, even if they didn’t say anything.

She told me she feels like a replacement for my ex, as if there was a ghost between us all. I told her I would talk to them but she said that even if they stopped talking about her now, she would always feel it was only because I asked them to. She says she feels deeply uncomfortable with them now even when they do nothing wrong.

I think it is important to add that my gf is really not jealous generally and even talked to me about my ex a lot when I needed to vent. So I think my family is wrong here, but I know if I tell them something they will defend themselves (my ex was part of their lives for so long) and even if they stopped my gf would still be uncomfortable.

What can I do?

Tl;dr: My (30m) family loves my ex and is expressing that openly in front of my current girlfriend (27f). It is damaging our relationship.

Submitted February 28, 2019 at 09:15AM by Mfsaaa111 https://ift.tt/2Sym7Nj