My [26F] boyfriend [26M] is getting obese and he doesn't do anything about it. I'm worried about his health, it's starting to impact our sex life and I don't know how to approach this without hurting him

Hey everyone, I'm having an issue I think many people have been facing over time.

So me and my boyfriend have been together for a bit over 3 years. We were never supermodels, but we were in good shape. Over time we've both gained weight, and we've both struggled over the years to exercise regularly, but as soon as I started to notice that I need to buy larger clothes, I realized that I need to do something. My boyfriend did not.

He's been gaining so much weight that he avoids many old clothes because they are too tight. He is a bit over 180 centimeters tall and weighs 116 kilos, which according to a bunch of BMI index calculators he is already obese. Every time he does a medical check up or donates blood the doctors tell him to do something about his weight.

What is more, he smokes one pack of cigarettes per day. Now, he is a really great, insightful and intelligent person, but when it comes to actually doing stuff instead of thinking he is incredible lazy and unmotivated. He knows all the risks of obesity and smoking, he says he wants to lose the extra weight and give up smoking, but at the same time says he can't do it yet.

That he doesn't feel balanced enough in his life to implement such large scale changes. That he has his own pace of doing things and that he will eventually get there.

I'm really worried about his health. I know that internet calculators are no replacement for a doctor, but having an extra 30 kilograms can't be healthy. Add to that 20 cigarettes a day, eating sweets and drinking Pepsi whenever cravings kick in, and I'm not so sure he's gonna have a good time.

At the same time, I have to confess this is becoming a turn off for me. His boobs are bigger than mine. He gets tired quite quickly during sex. I don't want a dude with a six pack, but taking care of yourself, even if it's only running once a week, is an incredibly hot form of self-respect. I see working out first as a mental challenge and a must for health, and then a way of getting a bit sexier. Exercising together would also be a really great way of bonding.

I suggested eating healthily together, exercising together etc. Nothing works.

I truly love him, and I want for him all the best. I really don't know how to tackle this anymore without hurting him and making him retreat into his shell and get even more unmotivated.

If anybody has any advice and perspective, I'd be more than happy to read it. I really want to work through this.

TL;DR My boyfriend has gained 30 kilograms, he is aware but says he's got his own pace of dealing with things, I'm worried about his health and it's starting to affect our sex life

*edit: added breaks between paragraphs

Submitted February 26, 2019 at 01:19PM by UrbanOwl24 https://ift.tt/2T1rOZ3