I [28/F] and my sister [30/F] want to chip in for my mom's caregiver costs but my brother [26/M] does not want to. What should I do?
My mom needs a caregiver due to her disability. Her needs are necessary (like she can't walk to the bathroom anymore, she uses a bedpan), needs assistance with bathing, administering medicine, etc..
I've been working remotely and helping her out but I can't do it full-time anymore. I want to hire a caregiver for work hours to watch my mom for days when I'm not there. I estimate the cost of the caregiver to be around $1800/month.
With just my sister and me to split it, it would cost us $900 out of pocket. With my brother helping, it would bring down the cost to $600 for each of us which is more manageable.
My brother however doesn't want a caregiver for my mom and doesn't want to pay for my mom's caregiver saying he makes less money than us so he can't afford it. The biggest BS in regards to that statement is... my mom gave my brother $47k of her savings because she was worried she was going to pass away soon. That's about how much I have in savings. I mean, yes I make more than my brother but my brother has a lot of mom's money. So he can definitely afford it. He doesn't even pay rent for my mom's place. My mom does.
My sister and I don't even live with mom. We have our own rent and bills to pay as well. My brother lives with my mom.
What should I do about above?
tl:dr: I [28/F] and my sister [30/F] want to chip in for my mom's caregiver costs but my brother [26/M] does not want to . because he says he earns less than us but my mom gave him a large chunk of money. What should I do?
EDIT: Just want to address one thing. A lot of assumptions about having assets or owning property. We live in NYC and idk about others but none of us can afford to buy a property in NYC. It's absurdly expensive here. The rent my mom pays and that I pay for our own places is already absurdly high compared to the rest of the US. So there's that. My mom doesn't own any assets. My brother, funnily enough, has a car but I don't know even have a car or any assets to sell. My brother needs the car for work and to drive my mom to her doctor appointments when needed.
EDIT #2: My mom's COBRA. So crazy as this sounds as everyone is now defending my brother who only looks after her half the time when she gets home.
My mom has to pay $700 for Cobra every month. She also got SSDI in January. She can get COBRA covered for 2 years until her Medicare(?) benefit kicks in. However, that means no dependents get money after she dies (i think this was part of disability coverage). My brother doesn't want my mom to apply for it because that means he gets no money if she dies. So now what?
Submitted February 27, 2019 at 07:56AM by Dragonfruit419 https://ift.tt/2GMTU3T
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