My [20F] best friend [19F] is accusing my boyfriend [24M] of abusing me after she told an embarrassing story, and got called out.

My story is a long and confusing one, so stick with me. My best friend (S) since childhood set up my current boyfriend (J) and I. Originally, I was told they met through tumblr and that they had been platonic friends since S was in middle school. After I found out I was moving to New York for school, S put me in contact with J to ask about neighborhoods, where to live, good bars/restaurants as well as establishing a friendship so I wouldn’t blindly move without a friend. Our relationship bloomed from this, and I have continued to date him as I have adjusted to life in NY. I repeatedly asked S if she was alright with me pursuing J before we had any sort of romantic contact and she repeatedly told me she never had feelings for him and that I had her blessing, and matter of fact she was actually overjoyed that I was dating someone she thought so highly of!

Recently S came out to New York to visit me and see J as well. During this time, the story came out of how S and J actually met. S “catfished” J when she was very young, around 14, while J was around 18. They had been strictly friends, S had pursued a romantic relationship with J, but this did not go anywhere, and this was shut down by J, gently, but firmly. Eventually when S came clean to J about her age he cut contact and flat out told her

“I cannot talk to you while you are this age”.

Fast forward 4 years, S reaches out to J as a friend, and they pick their friendship where they left off. Everything is great!

This story was told to me in front of my, and J’s group of mutual friends. S was sloppy drunk and thought it would be funny to share these details. Our friends were uncomfortable, I was uncomfortable, J was uncomfortable. I made efforts to stop her during her story, and she was oblivious.

As I was the DD I immediately knew conflict was coming when it was time for us to leave. We all got Into my car and J told S how shitty it was of her to tell that story, and that while he wanted to be her friend, she needed to understand that it wasn’t something she should talk about in front of anyone, let alone friends of ours she was meeting for the first time. S immediately brought me into this situation by saying

“That was a funny story, it wasn’t anything bad, like it was funny, right /u/ashittymagician? Right?”

Well I didn’t think so, and I made that very clear that I was siding with J in this situation.

She at first apologized to J and myself, and was drunk crying and apologizing as I drove J home and myself and her to my home. But when she sobered up she changed her stance drastically. She was no longer sorry.

Because of this situation S is accusing me of picking J over her, and in fact she is claiming J is actually abusive to me and that he was a criminal for talking to her while she was young, and that he was trying to “groom” her and now he’s trying to groom me as well.

I do not feel this way, I know for a fact that they had no romantic relationship, especially not after he found out her true age.

It has also been brought to my attention that S confessed to J that she was developing feelings for me before I left for school around a year and a half ago. I was unaware of this.

S has stopped speaking with me completely, and has been extremely hurtful towards me since this incident. She has since told me that she is uncomfortable with J and I dating (2 years into the relationship which she has supported up until this point).

All of this has happened in the month of January.

Am I the asshole for dating my friends “ex”? Am I the asshole for siding with my boyfriend? Please excuse my formatting, I am on mobile.

TL;DR Friend catfished my boyfriend in middle school, told all of my adult friends how she did it, and can’t understand why I’m upset.

Submitted February 26, 2019 at 03:01PM by AShittyMagician https://ift.tt/2U9wl8B