How can I (f22) help him (m22) understand my reasons for breaking up with him? I don't want to crush his confidence even more

We've been dating for five months. As much as I really like him as a person, I think it's better for both of us if we break up.

He's a very shy guy with low self-esteem, and some part of me thought I could help him. I see a therapist and she's helped me to realise that it's not my place to try and change him.

The main reasons why I don't think we're compatible are due to having different priorities. I've recently graduated college and am planning my career. In the meantime I'm working on getting my driving permit, and seeing a therapist to work on my anxiety. He's been out of college for two years and has no idea what he wants to do. On top of this he has no drive to move out of his parents' place or learn to drive. He's about to start seeing a therapist for his mental health which is a good sign.

In addition (and a major comparability issue for me), we don't do anything physical unless I initiate it. He's new to this but I'd hoped that after a few months he'd feel comfortable enough to kiss me y'know? When we started dating I was happy with this arrangement, but now I'm just tired of putting all the work in.

At this point, I think he might benefit from working on himself. I want to be as supportive as I can, but I think we're at different points in our lives. As much as I like him, I'm not going to hold his hand whilst he stays in his comfort zone.

Another key point to consider is that we're colleagues. Thankfully we work is separate areas but we do cross paths.

When I break up with him I'm not sure how much I should tell him. As he doesn't have any friends (apart from me), and he's not very confident, I'm worried that this will seriously affect him. I want him to learn from this, and grow as a person. I'm scared that if I'm too honest, it'll go the other way.

How do I explain my reasons for breaking up with him without it getting too personal?

TL;DR - Boyfriend of 5 months needs to work on his self-esteem and anxiety. I'm planning on breaking up with him - how can I phrase it so he'll understand my reasons without feeling attacked?

Submitted February 27, 2019 at 02:08PM by LittleChrissyMcCoy https://ift.tt/2T16DXj