I sent my colleague (30s f) screenshots of her husband (40s m) propositioning me (21f) for sex. In a very awkward situation now.

I have a coworker who I'm friendly with but not super close with. I'll call her Eileen. She has a husband, "Bob" who I've seen a few times at happy hour and stuff, and he and I we've made what I thought was small talk about a hobby we share. I didn't spend any more time talking to him than anyone else there, it seemed like totally appropriate small talk.

I also brought up that I was looking to advance my career, and was really interested in this one type of job in my field. He said that he used to work doing something like that, and that he could put me in touch with people he knows at a couple places that might be hiring. He added me on Facebook so we could message there, because he apparently uses Facebook messenger for everything. All this happened in front of his wife, I thought everything was cool.

It wasn't weird talking about other opportunities in front of current coworkers, I'm actually there as an intern now and I may be able to turn that into a full time job there but it is not certain so I am exploring my options.

I asked Bob about career stuff a few times, he did an email introduction for me to a couple hiring managers he knew, just saying that I was a friend who was looking to get into their field of work, but that was about it.

I didn't keep talking for a while, then he asked me out of the blue something about my goals. First about career goals, then getting into general life goals. I stopped replying once the conversation started to veer away from career stuff because I hardly know the guy.

This week, I've been on vacation with 2 of my girl friends from college, and I haven't been online so much. But last night I was getting good and drunk with my friends and when I was waiting in the line for a bar bathroom I checked my Facebook messages. I saw several from Bob.

The first said that he was hurt I'd read his other messages and not replied

The second was about a vacation picture one of my friends had tagged me in, asking me where I was and saying that it looked like we were having fun.

The third was the one that was the most off-putting... He propositioned me for "discrete casual sex" and paid me some really weird compliments about my looks.

I was really upset, it's been a reoccurring frustration in my life that people who I thought of as colleagues or professional contacts want more, like to hook up with me, or have me be their affair partner. I work with at least 90 percent men in my current job so it's not like I'm that hot or anything, I'm just the only available woman around. I call it "engineering hot" as a joke, but honestly it's frustrating because i just want to develop my career without always being propositioned or having a "tit for tat" relationship hinted at.

I'm saying all this to explain what I did next. I was angry, this was like the last straw on the camel's back, of people being inappropriate with me. And I was drunk as hell.. which honestly doesn't excuse bad choices.

I screenshot the messages and sent Eileen the screenshot along with the texts "rein in ya boiiii" and "hoooooly shit i am sic of hearing this bullshit from every wrankly ol asshat in mechE"

I woke up and remembered what I'd done, and immediately felt like an idiot. Out of all the ways to break it to Eileen that her husband is an asshat, that was the worst... I think I still would have thought she needed to know sober, but I would have put it in a whole different context. Saying that I was sorry but there was something she needed to know, rather than sending screenshots out of the blue and asking her to rein in her husband because I was sick of dealing with people like him.

So I looked at my phone and both Eileen and Bob have blocked me on Facebook Messenger which is where we'd talk.

I don't know if I should try and reach out to Eileen to apologise some other way, or if I should respect that she probably doesn't want to talk because she blocked me. I'll be seeing her at work on Monday and I feel so terrible for having been so insensitive.

Can I have some advice?

TLDR - I sent my colleague screenshots of her husband propositioning me for sex. Accompanied by some pretty dumb insensitive comments, telling her to rein him in because I was sick of getting hit on by wrinkly old engineers". I feel so bad about the way I broke the news, and I don't know if I should reach out before going back to work with her on Monday.

Submitted January 31, 2019 at 10:25AM by Andiboots http://bit.ly/2Rrrxcl