A little bit of history: My partner and I have been together 13 years, since I was a teenager. From our first date, we had an insane connection, that was not just an attraction, but an amazing friendship. He was unfaithful when we were young, it was almost a compulsive thing he would do. We lived an hour apart, and I didn’t know the people he was in school with, so it was easy for this to go on without me knowing. We were both kids, and he had a lot of self worth and relationship issues. When I found out we broke up, for a short period of time in our early 20s. After getting back together we took couples counseling and did a lot of very difficult work on ourselves and our relationship, with the understanding that this would never happen again. He did everything he could to regain my trust. Everything seemed better. We built a great relationship, have a child, and a simple but happy life together.
A few months ago I found a pair of underwear that were definitely not mine. I had a mild breakdown, but we live in the upstairs unit of a house and share laundry with the people downstairs. I read about driers eating clothing and then spitting them out later. The tiny girl who lived in the apartment downstairs several months ago would have definitely fit in to these xs underwear. It made sense that there was just a laundry mix up. I accepted that reasoning and got over it.
Fast forward to today. I’m making our bed after my partner has gone to work, and I find a long dark hair in our bed. My hair is short and always changing bright vibrant colors. The last time I had long dark hair was two years ago, and we have washed our sheets many times since then. Our neighbor downstairs has short red hair. I texted my partner and he called me from work saying that he had no idea how it got there. I don’t know what to do! Is there a reasonable explanation, or is this the end of our relationship? With our history I’m having a very hard time believing him, but I honestly thought things had gotten so much better. I really thought he was happy. I really can’t do this again, and am trying to decide if I just pack my bags and leave before he gets home.
tl;dr I found a hair that does not belong to me in mine and my partner of 13 years' bed, and I'm very close to packing my things and leaving.
UPDATE: I have calmed down since writing this. The fact that he was unfaithful in the past is the reason I initially freaked out. Sometimes trauma like that just comes flooding back. But I also know that our relationship is in a completely different place then it was back then. I know not everyone will understand this, and that’s ok. Now that I can approach the situation with a more level head I’ve decided to wait until our daughter is asleep and try to bring it up calmly and try to take it from there. Thank you to the kind people who gave helpful advice and support.
Submitted January 31, 2019 at 08:46AM by duckylurve http://bit.ly/2sZTQVA
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