My (29M) fiancee's (27F) best friend (27M) wants to go on an overseas trip with just her before our wedding.

Created this account today and posting for the first time because I don't really have anyone else to turn to.

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My fiancee (Kate) has this close/best male friend, let's call him Matt, that she has known since her early teens. The two of them belong to a larger group of friends who are all pretty close, but the two of them have the closest relationship (you know how it goes in big groups). They have a long friendship together but have never been in a relationship, though she admitted that at one point in the earlier years he did have a crush on her for a bit though nothing came out of it. Many years have passed and I came into her life and I am about to get married to this beautiful lady - her best friend also engaged and about to marry another woman.

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Recently, Matt asked her if she would like to go on an overseas trip, just the two of them, before the wedding. She asked me if it was ok but I said it's not really appropriate for two people a few months before their weddings to go on a trip by themselves without their partners (and any other friends from the larger group for that matter). Upon my insistence they brought along 1 other male friend to that particular trip which I thought was a suitable compromise.

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Now a couple months later, he mentions that he has a work trip overseas lined up and would like her to go with him (just the two of them), as there will be free accommodation. To be fair to Matt, he also mentioned to check with me first, as he doesn't want me to be uncomfortable. However, I found it weird that this is the second time he wanted a trip for just the two of them within a few months, so I said the same things (about the inappropriateness), and that the only way I would be comfortable is if 1 other person tagged along at least (e.g. his fiancee). Kate said that they didn't want any other people from the larger group because it would be awkward(?) to have other people since are closer together and talk about everything, and would like to go on some trips without their partners. To me those are valid points taken by themselves, but the timing between the requests and insistence on just two of them is just weird to me. In the end because of what I said, the trip didn't happen.

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I just want to say that I do trust my fiancee, she has given me no reason to doubt her, but I do have uncomfortable feelings about Matt and his intentions. To me there really isn't a need to travel overseas just by themselves. Kate and Matt text almost everyday and I dont snoop at all, but once in a while she shares a couple of screenshots or I happen to see a couple with kissing emojis and slightly flirty text which she says is normal and that they've always texted this way. Over time while she has accommodated my reasons we've gotten into some arguments and drifted apart over this. I think certain things are inappropriate no matter the length of the friendship and should be stopped or lessened but she is adamant that marriage should not change her friendships at all and that I should just understand that they are close. I really feel quite lost, because while I do not want to hold her back from her friendships, some things are really affecting me. What would you guys do if you were in my situation?

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tl:dr: Fiancee's best friend insists on 2 separate trips overseas with just 2 of them, I am uncomfortable and unsure about where their friendship is going though they have accommodated me so far.

Submitted January 30, 2019 at 08:36PM by redgeeks http://bit.ly/2Tj6lao