I swear I didn’t used to be so…insensitive. We’ve been together for 3 ½ years almost and her insecurities and jealousy and her not trusting me has barely gotten better. She says that she has trust issues because 1)her ex cheated on her and lied a lot and 2) I lied to her in the past.
Her ex cheating on her has nothing to do with me so I feel it’s pretty unfair that I’m being punished for what this guy did.
As for number 2 – let me explain.
She includes omitting information as lying. For example – I didn’t tell her I had lunch with workmates one day, I didn’t tell her I was going clothes shopping after work, I didn’t tell her that I talked to a workmate while waiting for the bus/train, I didn’t tell her that my cousin/friend/mum texted me that day.
She has also accused me of lying many times, which is why to her it seems like I’m such a huge liar. Some things she has accused me of lying about – I bought a book and she immediately thought I was buying it in secret for a gift for a secret person, working out with someone at the gym (in reality, a staff member at the gym saw me struggling and helped me with my bench press), an email going around work from HR telling us to remember to flush the toilet, that my cousin’s name was actually his name. Stupid shit like that.
Sometimes she’ll ask me a question and I’ll answer but change my mind later, or I get distracted and accidentally say something else, or I’ll just make a mistake. But as soon as I change my answer from that original answer? I’m a liar and the worst human being on the planet.
I used to do everything I could to get her to believe me and prove her wrong when she said I was lying. I would call her in the middle of the day to comfort her, show her screenshots of my phone, let her read my texts, take pictures of myself with a spoon on my head to show I am where I say I am. But now? FUCK THAT. I am so tired of it. I decided that it was not up to me to deal with her insecurities. So now when she throws a shit fit because I don’t provide proof of what I’m doing/where I am, I just ignore her. Let her have a tantrum like a 5 year old.
Sometimes I caved – like telling her what my phone password was after I changed it since she snoops. But usually I stick to it but then I also feel super guilty at the same time.
So I guess my question is if I’m doing the right thing? I feel like it’s the right thing for my own sanity, but not my girlfriend’s.
TL;DR – I’m sick and tired of my girlfriend going ape shit when I do things due to her insecurities and jealousy. I don’t give in to her and frankly, don’t really care anymore.
Submitted January 30, 2019 at 08:01AM by TemporarilySpecific http://bit.ly/2DL5PN7
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