I (25F) have to tell my sister (22F) that my due date is the day before her wedding. She's going to flip.

Hi all,

So I've recently found out I'm pregnant with baby number two! I'm super excited but it's still early (only about 4 weeks along) so only my mom and my husband know.

After doing the math I've calculated my due date as the day before my sister's wedding. I'm a bridesmaid and my firstborn is supposed to be the ring bearer.

I obviously have to let my sister know, and common courtesy would have me doing it sooner rather than later. However, my sister and I have had a lot of issues over the years, mainly her unchecked jealousy about everything I do. She is a classic case of middle child syndrome.

From the very beginning of all her wedding planning all she could say to me was "you'd better not get pregnant" She said it was because she wanted to get drunk with me, knowing full well I don't drink anymore. I suspect it's more because she wants our mom and grandmother's undivided attention. She often complains that they do more for me than her.

So basically, I'm terrified of how she's going to take the news. She was so mad when I announced my first child because "it should be her" and I was being "irresponsible" (as an about to be married 23yo). My first had no impact on her life at all, so my imagination is really getting the best of me.

Secondly, she can not and will not keep it a secret. It's much too early for this to be public knowledge with friends and family, but I know she will tell everyone just so she can complain about me. I'm not comfortable telling people until the second trimester, when the significant risk of miscarriage has passed.

Reddit, please help me. I have no idea when or how to tell her.

TLDR: I'm pregnant, due around very jealous sister's wedding where I'm a bridesmaid. She won't be happy or keep it a secret if I tell her. I'm not ready for family/friends to know yet, but need to let her know I may not be able to attend/participate in the wedding ASAP. Need advice on how to do this.

EDIT: I'm not able to keep up with everyone anymore, I apologize. A few common themes that have come up-

Changing the wedding date- absolutely not. That's her day, she's 'claimed' it. I could never ask that of anyone.

Family leaving/not attending the wedding to be with me giving birth- again I wouldn't want that. I'm on the out here. She comes first. I've already done the baby thing, this is her 'first' moment.

Getting pregnant on purpose to be due at the same time- Seriously? The chances of doing that INTENTIONALLY are astronomical, it would require me to change my entire menstrual cycle, and mess with my hormones to ovulate at the right time. Think about that for a moment please.

I'm a bitch because she said not to get pregnant- Yep this ones on me. While not intentional, I do know how babies are made. I made the choice to continue having sex with my partner.

Waiting until after the first trimester to tell her - I've decided that's what's best for me. Miscarriage and loss are real, and most common in the first trimester. It would be devastating for me to have to tell the people she told, why the baby is no longer a 'problem'

Do I wish this happened? No. I'm a mess. No one seemed happy when we announced our first child and this one is guaranteed to get a negative reaction. But I'm going to love it and do my best to diffuse the situation as best I can, because yes at the end of the day, this is my fault.

Submitted January 30, 2019 at 06:52AM by tenfer http://bit.ly/2Wu3xce