The girl I've (M23) liked (F23) for the past 7-8 months wants to flirt/date/have sex with other people while still being "with me" and can't understand why it bothers me

This is gonna be a wall of text and I'm on mobile, so I apologize in advance. I really just needed a place to vent and ask if I'm in the wrong because I don't want to bother any of my friends with this and I'm in so much pain.

I've known this girl for awhile now and we found out we liked each other. We hit it off fast because we have so much in common. She wanted to be in a relationship immediately despite it being a long distance thing. We pretty far apart, but we've been seeing each other 1-2 times a month for the past 7-8 months or so.

She has bad anxiety and her last bf cheated on her so she gets nervous about that kind of thing. When she visited me in our hometown over the summer she was extremely mean and finally broke things off.

She did not, however, want things to end and wanted to keep flirting with me, going on dates, having sex etc.

I told her I couldn't handle that emotionally and if she respected me she wouldn't ask again. Well she did ask again multiple times and finally I broke down because I like her so much. I might even be in love with her. She did NOT want to call it a "relationship", but for all practical purposes we were in one.

Things went well for awhile and then she called me to talk to me about her high libido and how I can't be there to make her happy and satisfy her needs with the distance. She asked if she could sleep with other people and that hurt me so much.

I told her there was nothing wrong with what she wanted and that I understood, but she couldn't have me and that. I wouldn't be able to handle it emotionally.

She could NOT understand. And then some double standards happened. She was talking about one of my friends and said "She's pretty isn't she?" and I said "yea, I guess she's good looking." This upset her to an insane degree. I really didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but she gets insanely jealous of that kind of thing apparently.

It isn't fair of her to ask to have sex with other people and then be upset with me over this.

Well she called me crying and begging me saying that I was the only person she wanted and she couldn't lose me. I wasn't sure how I was going to get over what she'd asked of me to be honest, but I did.

Things went well for awhile again, but she asked again last night... I am so hurt and I don't know what to do.

I am holding her back from enjoying herself, but I just told her she can have fun with other and I always be there for her as a friend, but she can't have me and other people because I cannot handle that emotionally.

She also told me if I had asked her to do this, she wouldve ended things with me because she's a jealous person and would hate that.

She said fine and got angrier than last time, like I was being unreasonable. She then said I was her priority...

So i told her she cant have me and the type of fun she desires. She replied "idk what to do then"

And i said "I guess I'm not a priority" and ended things...

I miss her so much. I'm not doing so great mentally right now and this is such a big setback.. I want to die.

Am I in the wrong? Or is it okay to not want the person I like to do that if they wish to continue seeing me?

Edit: She's also told several of her friends (including atleast 1 guy friend who has asked about her sexual history and told her he wondered what she'd be like in bed) that she wishes she could have fun and sex, but feels to guilty cause i'm in the picture. It makes me feel like a fling and a joke around her friends despite this going on for 7-8 months

TL:DR - Girl of my dreams wants sex with other people and to have me as a bf like figure without the label. I told her she couldn't have both and she got angry so I ended things. Now I am in so much pain and just want to know why I wasn't enough

Submitted November 14, 2018 at 02:56PM by VanillaBovine https://ift.tt/2zPl588