First let me say I’m sorry if I’m doing anything wrong, first time posting here. :)
So I’m a 19-year-old currently attending university for a degree in animation. It’s my absolute passion, and I’ve worked really hard to get here. I have OCD, depression, anxiety, y’know all that crappy stuff and have for pretty much all my life. I live hours away from my parents and this is my first time on my own. I don’t have a job yet, but do have scholarships and savings and am looking for one. They help with payments so I’m still pretty dependent on them. Lately I’ve been feeling really miserable and lost, so I thought I’d do something a bit impulsive I’ve been wanting to: buy a betta fish. I already have an ESA cat whom I love dearly, but I haven’t had a fish since I was about 8 and thought having one would be cool. So today I bought the fish (Kevin) and everything he needed and have been doing research on what betta fish like and how I can give Kevin a good life.
It made me really excited! I’m an adult now, if I want a fish son I’ll get a fish son.
However, my parents visit about once a month, so they’re going to see the fish at some point. My mom calls me like she does every night (I wish I could tell her to make the calls less frequent honestly) and I tell her about Kevin. Now, when I got Kevin I nearly backed out and put him on the shelf again because I knew my parents would be furious. They’ll let me have a cat, but they think fish are pointless. They also always speak poorly of the fish I had when I was 8, even if I really liked them and still remember their names. Something to add to this too is that I like collectibles (just look at my post history) and while I really don’t have that much and love the artistic qualities of them, my parents also hate them. They constantly comment on how much “junk” I have.
So of course when I told her about Kevin she went off on me about how I already have too much crap and that I shouldn’t have gotten him. Whatever. The thing is though, my sister told me that when my mom got off the phone she and my dad were FURIOUS about this $10 fish I spent my own money on and were insulting me about my lifestyle, how much crap I have, etc. Not gonna lie, hearing this made me cry.
My parents are so disappointed in me about a fish. I’ve worked really hard to get into university, am doing well, have friends (I used to have really bad social anxiety), am taking my medications... yet all they care about is a damn fish. You’d think I did crack or something.
I’ve never done drugs, skipped school, had bad experiences with animals, or done anything to deserve this treatment. Fish and amiibos make me happy so I guess nothing else about me matters. Keep in kind my parents drink all the time and are stuck in a failing marriage, but no, I’m the one with issues.
I don’t know... the rational part of me is telling me not to worry about it, but I can’t help but feel like a complete failure and worthless. Over a fish. This type of behavior is nothing new for my parents, but I don’t know how much more of it I can take.
Sorry for rambling, but do you guys have advice on how to feel better about this all? I struggle with getting up in the morning just with my own problems, now my parents are adding to them. I love them, and I can’t cut them out of my life even if I wanted to die to finances. Idk, just feeling very lost right now.
tldr; my parents treat me like a failure over a fish
Edit: Thank you to all of the helpful comments! Reading them made me tear up, I feel so much better now and confident in my decision. What I feel is valid and I shouldn’t let my parents bully me into being miserable. Sometimes you just need some internet hugs and to feel sorry for yourself, thank you all for taking the time out of your day to comfort me. GO KEVIN! :)
Edit 2: Wow, I don’t expect this many responses! Sincerely, thank you all so much for taking the time to help me with your kind words. I’m sorry I didn’t get to respond to everyone (I really tried lol), but I read every comment! I’m off to bed, thank you for making my night a bit better. :)
Submitted September 30, 2018 at 06:57PM by sarahanimations https://ift.tt/2NVdSxc
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