Thank all of you who replied to my first post. I read them all and appreciate the advice. Original post below for those interested. Sorry for the wall in advance.
Original post - https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/9h63gs/met_my_35_biodad_for_the_first_time_in_my_life/
After my encounter with my bio-dad the only person I told was my wife. I didn't want to bring my mother, great aunt/uncle into this, as I wasn't quite ready to discuss it. I figured next time I spoke with them I would bring it up and it wasn't a "big-deal". I went to work the following day and did see him on site but didn't engage him whatsoever. I knew at some point I would like to speak with him but I just needed time to process everything.
I should mention my mother works in the same building as my bro-dad's sister, my bio-aunt. Which I did meet a few weeks prior to the "incident" at a wedding. This was my first meeting of anyone from that side of my family. I should also mention this meeting with my bio-aunt was pleasant, she asked my mother if it would be okay to meet me, which my mother asked me if I would be okay with it and I accepted. Pictures were taken and hugs exchanged.
Later that day I did receive a phone call from my mother and she had bought up the encounter. So, my mother knew about the meet and greet by talking with bio-aunt. I guess the meeting got my bio-dad a bit upset as well and he spoke with bio-aunt about it. My mother's stance is very much do what you want, your an adult. In no way throughout my life has she shamed my biological name to me. My mother and I just chatted about the encounter, which was very short one and that was that.
Over the last week or so I did have mix emotions. Like if I should go and speak with him or just avoid him, etc. I thought to myself that I would just take it day by day, until today. I seen him on site and he was alone so I walked up to him. I didn't really have a plan of what to say. I basically said that I didn't appreciate being blindsided like that while at work and that I was sorry for being rude, it is out of character for me and I was raised better than that. He said that he was a little blindsided too which may have lend me to believe he was pushed into the situation by his co-workers (this is something I need to dig into a bit because if it was some prank there will be other discussions). He basically continued to say that he was sorry for not being in my life and that it was his fault and regretted not being involved. That he was proud of me and that I've grown into a handsome, respectful man and that I have brothers, a sister and nieces/nephews. He did ask if he could talk with me on the phone sometime and maybe meet some of these family members. He said that there wasn't a day that he didn't think about me and that he loves me. He then asked me if he could shake my hand and that was that. I just told him that it as been 35 years and that I just need time with all of this. Maybe in time but it is happening a bit too fast for me.
That is basically it. I'll probably just go about my business with work and at least I feel like I could say hello to him while at work. I am unsure about starting a relationship or connecting right now until I am ready.
TLDR - Talked with him, he apologized for not being around and wants to connect. I told him I'm not ready but will reach out if it happens.
Submitted September 27, 2018 at 12:40PM by shaqrad https://ift.tt/2xV7ETv
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