I’m [24F] getting married soon. My mother [48F] is extremely hurt that I want to have my wedding away near my fiancé’s family instead of the town I grew up in. Thoughts?

Alright so I just got engaged to the love of my life after dating him for 8 years. About 5 years ago I moved 3 states away from all of my family to be with him, things have been great. I visit my family whenever possible and I see them for all of the major holidays. I’ve always missed them a ton but I’ve also enjoyed moving away from the really small town I grew up in and I love where I live now. Anyways, my fiancé has a huge family here (talking 150+) who want to be at our wedding, while my family is very small (about 25-30 people at the most). We’ve always decided that we’re going to get married closer to his family since I don’t really care which state I get married in and it’s just the more logical thing to do instead of having 150 people travel 14 hours away.

Recently my mother has expressed that she’s very hurt over our decision to get married closer to his family, because she thinks I’m being unfair and giving my own family the short end of the stick. Keep in mind, about a year ago my brother also got married to someone with a huge family who lived across the country. They ended up having two separate ceremonies with each family, but of course his wife’s side was much bigger since she has so much family. My mom was also hurt by this, and has told me that she doesn’t want me to hurt her like that too. I would rather not have two different ceremonies in different states like my brother did since it’s important to me to have both families at my wedding for everyone to properly meet each other and have a good time. I’m not ruling out the option, but it just wouldn’t be my cup of tea to split the families like that, not to mention the extra costs of paying for two weddings.

Please help, my mother has already shed so many tears because my brother chose to move away from home to be with his wife too and lives closer to her family just like I live closer to my fiancé’s family.

Am I being unfair to my family to make all 25 of them travel 14 hours away for my wedding? Am I catering too much to my fiancé’s family even though they have drastically more people? Do you think I should have two ceremonies like my brother did, even if I don’t necessarily want to? I’m really trying to not start any drama in my family or hurt my mom even more.. I don’t know what the right thing to do here is.

Tl;dr: My mom is upset that I’m having my wedding closer to my fiancé’s family even though they have much, much more people attending from his side. I’m trying to be logical about this while still keeping everyone happy.

Submitted July 29, 2018 at 11:36AM by Astareintothewoods https://ift.tt/2Lz0ttJ