My girlfriend (27) and I have been together for 8 years. A few years into dating she started to gain weight. At the time this seemed like a hormonal issue and we went to doctors together and she was diagnosed with hashimotos disease. This means weight gain and hormone problems. She was given hormone treatment for years.
Now, being together for 8 years I’ve developed a deep connection with her. But her weight gain is now at least 80 pounds, as per her own words.
During the pandemic I put on about 30 pounds myself. I felt horrible about it and did not feel well mentally or physically. I decided to start going to the gym, and have been consistently 4-6 times a week. I’m starting to notice change in my body and haven’t felt this good in about 4-5 years.
My girlfriend has gone to the doctor since, and has been told she is in fine health now. Her hormone levels are all where they should be, but she hasn’t lost any of the weight, nor does she try to.
I am so conflicted because I’ve been with her for so long now. I remember what she looked like and I remember how much I was physically attracted to her. Now I am sexually not attracted. I beat myself up about it. I feel ashamed of myself for caring about how she looks. But I can’t help it, I want my partner to be sexually attractive to me.
I’ve tried to get her to go to the gym with me but she won’t. It’s discouraging. I love her personality, but her weight is not just a 20-40 pound weight gain. It’s getting to the point where I’m nervous about where this is going for her health.
She is still a beautiful woman. I just want the physical attraction to her again. I want her to care enough to change. But it doesn’t seem likely at this point, and I’m afraid she will continue to put on more weight. Her weight gain has caused her to start snoring every time she sleeps, and now I sleep on the couch almost every night.
I have tears in my eyes as I write this because I feel so lost and I feel like an awful person but this is putting a huge burden on our relationship because not only is it her appearance but she doesn’t try to take care of our home either. It should be a 50/50 split in a relationship and I feel like I’m doing 80/20.
She also has recently went to a job that was supposed to be full time, however it seems like she’s only an “on-call” employee and her income is much lower than it ever was. Forcing me to take on more hours to get the bills paid.
I’m very conflicted on how to deal with it and I care about her very much. But I feel lost being with someone who I am physically struggling to be intimate with. I just wish she cared enough to not only want to help me out in the relationship but help herself too.
I politely ask for serious answers only. I know this nature of this post might invite people to attack me for being shallow but I feel my concern is justified.
Tl;dr
My girlfriend has gained 80 pounds, doesn’t seem to want to change it.
Submitted April 05, 2022 at 09:37PM by zooma92 https://ift.tt/fn8hPoa
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