How do I [30f] salvage relationship with friend [32 M] after asking him and husband [32M] to help contribute?

Last October our best friend of 20 years lost their housing through no fault of their own. We told them to come stay with us, and we would all three find a new place to live together. Now we have a very small, 500 Sq foot one bedroom apartment.

Around January I realized two things. One, that I was the only one looking for a new place. And two, my roommate had stopped working. They're an independent contractor so work isn't always steady. At this point they hadn't worked in about a month.

I went to my husband and said I did not want to live with our friend long term because i was worried I would be stuck with all the bills. I should note here that my husband does not work by choice. I make enough to support my husband and I fairly comfortably, but both my job and grad school are fairly demanding and I have little time for errands and housework. So my husband takes care of the house.

I went to my husband in January saying I didn't want to live long term with our friend. We went to them and they were very amicable and said they could move the following weekend.

Except, that weekend came and passed. Any time I brought it up there was some excuse. They continued to not work, and I continued to fall farther in debt trying to support us all. I brought up both them and my husband getting new jobs. My friends excuse was they didn't have ID (I offered to help them fix) and my husband said he had to drive me to work (I don't drive. I offered to take the bus).

I also want to note that my husband does about 80% of the house work and errands for the house. Roommate would sometimes feed the cats but otherwise just played games on their phone.

Finally last night I was so upset I had to leave the house. I ended up sending them this message

So. You guys need to step it up a notch in the most serious of ways. The burden of having to carry all three of us financially is absolutely killing me. I've already been looking for second jobs to take. In addition to my full time job, and grad school, and my volunteering. This Is in no way ok.

I know you both have excuses. But I feel completely taken advantage of by both of you.

I know you both think I'm mad. But more than anything I'm hurt. I'm working so fucking hard to make this household a happy one, and there are so many times like I feel like the only one doing so.

There are times I'm literally working my ass of to keep us afloat and at the same time Mike is buying lottery tickets.

Something needs to change. Immediately. I refuse to live like this anymore."

Friend ended up packing up their stuff and leaving before I got home. They won't speak to me at all. I feel like terrible. But, at the same time, I had felt so taken advantage of. Tl;dr: roommate won't contribute. I feel taken advantage of

Submitted April 29, 2022 at 03:14AM by lzharsh https://ift.tt/wcBbUtJ