Well. You guys warned me. You told me it would be a bad idea to go ahead with it. You told me it would get weird.
It's been about a month since I made my original post. I was given a lot of advice and some really thought-provoking comments that I want to thank you guys for. The response from Reddit gave me a lot to mull over, but above all else it really crystalised a few things for me:
- that I was maybe not as "over" my ex as I was telling myself I was;
- that my ex's new girlfriend's behaviour was VERY strange and manipulative;
- that a threesome under these circumstances may not be as uncomplicated and strings-free as I first imagined, and that someone was going to get hurt (most likely me).
After sitting on it for a few days I was leaning towards turning the proposal down for all the above reasons, but I hadn't told them what my decision was yet. His girlfriend was still constantly flirting over text with me. At one point I asked her why she wanted a threesome with me of all people, given my history with my ex, and she said she had never been as attracted to another woman before, and that she "just knew" it would be fire if I joined them. Shamefully, this flattery kinda worked. The fantasy I had about us was rekindled and I started coming around to the idea again, despite my better judgement.
About a week after I made my original post, the three of us were at the pub having drinks with some mutual mates. Eventually everyone else buggered off into the night until it was just the three of us left. That's when we started talking about how this could potentially work. Mind you, at this point I was still leaning towards saying no, so I stressed this was purely hypothetical for now. In that convo we talked about what our limits and boundaries would be, and how it would work; for example, we agreed that it should be a one-time-only thing, that we should never mention it to any of our friends, that it would happen at the girlfriend's place and I wasn't to stay the night, etc. The girlfriend also said that she didn't want my ex-boyfriend to kiss me or penetrate me. This wasn't a rule they had had in any of their previous threesomes, but it's a line she wanted to establish with me. I won't lie, I felt disappointed, but I still agreed, I was like "yeah yeah of course" but deep down felt a bit gutted. Subconsciously I recognised that disappointment was probably further proof I was maybe using this idea as just an excuse to be intimate with my ex again. Again, I knew it would probably hurt me, but the more we talked about it the more real it got, and the more excited I felt, and the less I cared about getting hurt. My logical, reasonable brain was still telling me this was a Bad Idea, but I was getting to a horny point of no return. We agreed to leave together and go back to the girlfriend's place.
When the fun started, I became very submissive. (I don't want to get too graphic, but there are some events I need to explain for context, so please bear with me!) I fell into my submissive role and told them I was there to do whatever they wanted me to do and use me however they wanted. In my mind, all I wanted was to please them and turn them on, because that's how I had fantasised about it. My ex seemed to really like that. At the start it was just his girlfriend and I fooling around, with my ex watching and telling us what to do, where to do it, etc. Then he got involved too. It was so much fun. We were making a good team and I was having a fucking blast. My biggest concern going in to it was the potential feelings of jealousy from seeing my ex with his girlfriend, but nope, I was genuinely too horny to feel any other emotion lmao. When they were fucking I was very happy to watch while I played with her, or myself, or did whatever they told me to do. But then his girlfriend got off and said she wanted to see m ride him.
That brought things to an abrupt halt. She had made it very clear she did not want us having PIV penetration, but now she was insisting that's what she wanted. This breakdown in communication didn't seem very cool. My boyfriend looked concerned, he kept asking her if she was sure she wanted this, she kept insisting yes. He then asked me if I was comfortable with it, which I definitely was, and I was just like "I am if you are". So he nodded and we started fucking. Yes, it felt amazing. I looked at him below me, honestly expecting to see his dark hungry gaze, but the look in his eyes had changed completely. He looked unhappy. I had never seem him look that way during sex. I stopped, alarmed and a bit sick, because it occurred to me that his gf hadn't even asked him if this is what HE wanted, and I asked if he was okay, and he said yeah. I asked him if he wanted to do this, and he said he did, then I told him we can stop if he doesn't want this, but he pleaded me to not stop. So I started riding him again. At this point I wasn't doing it the way I was at the start, when I was only really concerned about being a dirty sex doll for him, I was being a lot more gentle and slow. I was paying attention to his facial expressions and watched as the hunger came back in his eyes and we started fucking harder. His girlfriend was just watching us from the side this whole time, not touching us, not touching herself.
He then flipped me over so we were in missionary. It felt really amazing and intimate, which then immediately jolted to "weird" because of the situation we were in, so I tried reaching my hand out to his girlfriend to touch her and involve her, but she still kept her distance from us on the bed. I was looking at her but I couldn't read her facial expression at that point - she didn't seem mad, or excited, or turned on. Just a bit cold and distant. I asked if she was okay and she said yes, keep going. My ex was by now nestling his head into my neck while he was fucking me, and I could feel his hot breath on my neck and I was desperately craving him to kiss it or bite it, but he didn't. Instead I heard him barely whisper something in my neck, I couldn't hear it clearly but it sounded very much like "I love you", which alarmed me so I pulled his face up so I could look in him in the eyes. That's when I saw he was crying. (My ex has cried during sex before, usually during intense love-making.)
My heart fell through my stomach and that's when I finally said the safeword and stopped everything. I know I should have stopped it sooner, but they both kept telling me they were okay and asked me to keep going, and at that point my mind had shifted into its horny "do as I'm told" mode. I instinctively brushed my e-boyfriend's tears off his sad pretty face, but I didn't really know what to say. He kept apologising and saying he didn't know why he was crying. His girlfriend kept saying she didn't understand what the fuck was going on. I kept apologising to both of them. I got dressed quickly, stuck between wanting to get out of there (as we agreed I would do once the threesome was over) and wanting to stay and care for my ex, who was visibly upset. His girlfriend was just staring at him with a "WTF" look on her face, not comforting him at all. All I wanted to do was be there for him, which I knew on some level was pretty inappropriate since I'm not his girlfriend anymore, but then the whole fucking experience had been inappropriate, hadn't it? And it's not like his girlfriend was doing anything for him. So I sat next to him and started cradling his head. That's when his girlfriend lost her shit. She started screaming at me to get my hands off her boyfriend, which I quickly did. I tried explaining I was just trying to comfort him because he was clearly upset and needed some care, and she said that was her job, and I said I agreed! Long story short, she told me to leave, which I promptly did.
While sitting and waiting for my train, still reeling from how badly the whole fucking thing went, I saw my ex step onto the platform. We started apologising to each other for what a catastrophe it was. His girlfriend was mad at him for being a "pussy" and ruining it, and had kicked him out too. I told him I didn't like how she didn't seem to check in with him at all, especially after having blurred the boundaries we had established with her, and that I was really sorry for continuing the first time I registered his unhappy face. He said he was caught off-guard by the emotions he felt when we were together in that moment, and when those emotions overwhelmed him he started crying. Like me, he thought he was able to separate any past feelings from a bit of fun, but we were both fools I guess. He started thanking me for always being gentle with him, then he started getting upset again. We were on the same train but had different stops, mine came first, and when it was approaching I told him I didn't want to leave him in the state he was in, and asked if he wanted to stay at my flat, which he accepted. There was no funny business, we just slept.
The next morning his girlfriend dumped him by text. She thought the crying was weird and unattractive, and accused him of looking at me more than her when we were giving him a double bj. She also accused us of excluding her during parts of the threesome, even though that was definitely not the case, she was absolutely the centre of attention for most of it and even in the moments when she removed herself I was still trying to touch her and look at her! When he read the text out loud to me I told him I was sorry but he said he was quite relieved because they weren't very compatible. I still don't entirely understand why she wanted this threesome experience or what she got out of it, but I've never seen her or spoken to her since, so I may never know.
My ex and I kept in contact every day afterwards, with talk eventually always coming back to what we miss about each other, and what getting back together might look like. He's been in therapy for a year working on his mental health and anxiety (the main reason we broke up was because he was refusing to talk to anyone about it), and has learned all these coping skills he didn't have when he was with me. He promises me he's in a different place mentally and I believe him. I'm usually the first person to tell my girlfriends to NEVER take an ex back, but I think we can make it work if we both try and we both keep each other accountable. The love is definitely still there. So yeah... we're dating each other again. We're taking it slow, but it feels right. It's just a shame it took so much mess to get here.
TL;DR: I had a threesome with my ex-boyfriend and his girlfriend. It was a shit-show, my ex and his girlfriend broke up over it, but now my ex and I are getting back together, so all's well that ends well?
Submitted April 22, 2022 at 02:38AM by 3somethrowaway994 https://ift.tt/L6Pa7Yw
No comments:
Post a Comment