see comments for additional info Hi I (22f) and my boyfriend (26m) have been in a relationship for about 4ish months. Sorry if this post is long. I have always been monogamous and so has he but he wanted to try out poly/open and I was ok with that. The one rule I had was the he tell me and use protection.
At the beginning of our relationship, I went out with all of our mutual friends, got so drunk I couldn't sit in a chair and his twin brother took me away to a room and had sex with me. I woke up the next day and couldn't remember anything. Everyone had to fill me in on what happened and my bf was admittedly upset. He chewed me out, yelled, cussing, insults etc on multiple occasions. He keeps telling me he forgives me and everyday I feel like shit. But anytime we have an argument he brings it up so he obviously hasn't forgave me. I want to be monogamous, he still wants poly/open, so I agreed. A guy started showing interest (28m) and he treats me so well (the bar is low but still). Once my bf started seeing how he treated me he has caused arguments and taken me away from our group outings to argue for hours. Today I was out with my friend who I've known for 12 years and he mentioned how he was shocked that my bf's body count was 5 and why he would lie. I was like ????? He lied??? Turns out that last Monday he went behind my back, got drunk, slept with his coworker in his car, and then 2 days later on Wednesday he invited her out with the group. I asked him if he had a thing for her (so I knew to back off bc poly) but he said "No I've never liked her, I'm not attracted to her. She likes me though" so I believed him. When we went out the signs were all there. Cutting my off via body language so he could talk to her, purposely moving away from me to sit next to her etc etc. I was trying to be friends with her and put any jealousy aside. Today when I confronted him about sleeping with her he had endless excuses "I was drunk" "I did it as payback" "I wanted revenge" "I never forgave you" "she actually did it to me I just fucked her so it wouldn't be weird" etc.
Well I asked him why he wanted us to be friends knowing he lied to me about everything and he goes "it's fucked up why" and I said "tell me the truth and stop lying" Well he said that he wanted me and her to be friends, and eventually have a 3some (I'm bi) and that if we did that it'd make him feel less guilty about sleeping with her behind my back and he wouldn't have to tell me. She also has a boyfriend and told my bf not to tell me bc she was worried I'd tell her bf she cheated. He told me he'd literally do anything I told him, and actually got on his hands and knees when I told him too. I just feel gross and manipulated, especially bc he didn't use protection so I have to go get tested now.
Well idk if I can forgive him, I literally can't kiss him, and the thought of being intimate with him makes me physically sick.
He is literally sleeping in my bed rn and idk why I'm letting him. My heart has so much love for him, but my head tells me he's gaslight Ingles me, lying, and being narcissistic. I just don't know anymore.
This might sound dumb, but should I listen to my heart and try to forgive him bc he wants to marry me etc etc and will do anything I say, or should I listen to my head and break up with him? Please help.
Tl;Dr- my bf of 4 months slept with his coworker, didn't tell me, and tried to set us up for a 3some, and is sorry now bc he realizes I'm the woman of his dreams. Forgive or nah?
Submitted April 20, 2022 at 12:43AM by IntentionSilent9846 https://ift.tt/qXNTLin
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