My [30F] friend’s [30F] husband [35M] approached me for relationship advice which turned inappropriate. Should I tell my friend?

Hello, I am posting on a throwaway for obvious reasons although I don’t think anyone involved frequents this subreddit. This all happened last night and it has left me feeling awkward about seeing either of them again. I will include a bit of back story on our relationship as I think that is important here.

My friend Anna and I have been friends for about 8 years. We met at our old workplace and hit it off immediately being the only females in a male dominated industry. She was with her husband at the time but they weren’t married at the time and I was single when I first started working with her. Anna and her husband are very conservative and I know they haven’t always approved of some of the things I have done especially when I was single and when me and my husband first got together.

My husband [30M] and I have been together for 6 years and he has obviously met Anna and her husband, Richard, many times. My husband and I have a fun relationship and have experimented sexually with threesomes and had a semi open relationship for a period. We recently had a baby so things have settled down for now while we focus on our little family. I have confided in Anna over the years of the things I have experimented with but haven’t ever discussed anything like this with Richard though I suspect Anna has told him bits and pieces.

Last night Richard messaged me on Instagram and sent me his phone number asking me to message him off my phone instead. I didn’t think much of it at the time and sent him a message asking how he was and we chit chatted for a bit. After some time he asked if he could get some personal advice, I said sure thing. Richard is a very open guy so it didn’t really come as a surprise that he would ask me for personal advice. Immediately he started asking for advice on spicing up their love life in the bedroom. I confessed that after having a baby things were a bit slow for us in that department so I might not be the right person to ask. I made some generic suggestions that I thought Anna would like such as buying her some cute lingerie or going on a romantic vacation together.

Suddenly he brought up an idea and asked if I thought this would be a good idea. He was suggesting bringing in another woman to watch them have sex while she masturbated. I was quite taken aback by this as I know Anna is quite a jealous person and doesn’t even like other women flirting with Richard. I said as much and that it might not go over well with her. Richard then proceed to ask me if I thought they were both attractive, what I would rate them out of 10 and if I ever saw Anna “in that light”. I was trying to answer as diplomatically as possible as I really don’t see them this way and it’s not an idea I would even entertain.

I eventually asked if he was implying that I be the woman involved and he was very defensive saying he wasn’t implying anything but also kept asking me if there was something I wanted to say or to confide in him. I said no and that I was going to bed and that he should really talk to Anna about this if this is what he wants to do and that I would not take part. He ended the conversation asking if I would talk to Anna about this.

My husband came home from work and I obviously told him about it immediately. He was quite angry that Richard would undermine our relationship like that and agreed it sounded like he was trying to gauge my reaction to his proposal.

Richard messaged me today apologising about what he had said. I said it’s ok but he should really talk to Anna about what he wanted out of their intimate relationship. He asked several times today to hang out and meet up but I made some excuses as to why I couldn’t.

I feel really bad for Anna, it feels like Richard is going behind her back trying to set something up that I know she would never be interested in. I felt like he disrespected both mine and their relationships in what he has said to me. I want to talk to Anna about this but I am unsure on how I should approach the subject, she is one of my close friends and I know this will really upset her. I honestly do not care if I make things awkward between myself and Richard but it may impact my relationship with Anna.

TL;DR: friends husband asked me for advice on spicing up their sex life, ended up implying he wanted me involved. I know my friend would never want this scenario to unfold. How should I approach this subject with her?

Submitted April 26, 2022 at 04:38AM by spareaccount_88 https://ift.tt/RDSxnT5