I am a F(22) met a M (43) through a sugar dating platform and he was the first and only guy that I had arrangement with. At first it was just purely transactional but as months goes by we got closer and closer. He was a very charming and also sweet guy. After AFEW months he mentioned he had a wife but they did not sleep or stay together because he no longer love her. At first I was shock but I thought that it was pretty normal for people who were married to fall out of love and at that moment I didn’t think much as I wasn’t emotionally invested. I knew that I had some kind of feelings but it wasn’t much as we were not together just still transactional. After having this arrangement for close to 6months one day we were talking on the topic of drugs and we trusted each other enough to take it together. It was my first time but not his first. Because of the drug it made us opened up our feelings and connected. After that day we became exclusive like a girlfriend and boyfriend kind of relationship and that is when I start to be emotionally invested.
Good parts : He takes care of me fetching me at night after hanging out with my friends and is very good chemistry in bed. Gets me protein drinks for me as I’m trying to gain weight. I don’t know what more but I just feel very happy with his companion.
Here comes the bad parts : Throughout the relationship he could only spend time with me after midnight as he claims to be a night person but I am a morning person. I changed my sleeping time just to cater to his schedule so I sleep at 3-4am instead of usual 11/12 . It has made me very tired and my body clock screwing up as well. It didn’t feel like I was dating him as we rarely do couple things like having nice dates like normal couple things do. We just only watch movie at night (rarely) and have sex and talk or have late night supper coz that is the only thing available at night. It was always the same thing. He only met me in the day to go eat in cafe for AFEW times throughout the relationship. But he claims that we are in a relationship.
He also manipulated me into taking ecstasy after the first time when I didn’t like it as he gave me too high dose and I had a bad comedown that traumatised me from taking it. I always feel pressured to take it as he said that this could help us bond more and he loved the loving feeling when we were both on it .
After awhile I become so mentally drained because it didn’t feel like a normal relationship like my other friends do and I feel super sad. One day my friend saw him holding his wife hands and I was utterly heartbroken as he claims to not have any intimacy or feelings for his wife anymore and that they rarely see each other. But from the looks of it , it wasn’t. I started to find out more and that actually looked loving on the wife’s social media. I broke up with him saying that he lied to me and he even told me that he will leave her for me as he wanted to divorce her and he has totally 0 feelings for her and I believed him so I got back together with him. After that I found out why he would not hang out with me during the day not because he had to work, it was because he had to spend time with his wife. And when I knew that he still insisted on that he did not lie to me. I was completely broken and decided to leave for good . I never felt so manipulated and used and lied to so much and I feel that he is so selfish wanting to have the best of both world. I am having difficulties moving on as I genuinely loved him a lot or maybe it could be the drug effect I don’t know.
One time I did break up with him regarding the wife matter but he came to my house with my keys I gave him and entered without my permission and begged me and kneel down and said that he has never kneeled down to beg before considering his high status he never begs. He said he was very sorry and he explained how he didn’t have any feelings at all for his wife and he has a lot of things to handle and couldn’t do it now and other excuses etc . He even sent me roses and a card saying “ I will leave her for you . We are so fated” but in the end it was just to buy more time with me I guess. I felt so trauma bonded with this person and I went back. When I finally decided to break the last time I blocked him and he totally did not try as hard as before to get me back anymore and I was not manipulated or tempted to get back with him as I rejected any form of meeting when he offered to talk things out. He still has my keys and I am wondering if I should contact him to take it back but I do not wish to text him. Edit: also do you think I should tell the wife about it ? But I’m afraid that it might put me in danger if I do that. They’ve been together for 8years I doubt that she doesn’t know anything. Considering that he doesn’t sleeps with his wife (he did bring me to his place before AFEW times and he really sleeps alone and in separate homes just side by side.) he also tells me a lot when we were on drugs about how he cheated on his wife and how he has been fucking a lot of girls but I changed him to be so loyal.
TLDR; he was very nice to me and lied to me about him wanting to divorce his wife. But he also could not meet the basic expectations of being a boyfriend and I fell too deep into the rs even when I know It wasn’t right and now I’m hurt. I just can’t believe how naive and blinded I was to be manipulated so many times.
Submitted April 18, 2022 at 05:57PM by Pitiful-Special1059 https://ift.tt/UYHuoji
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