Does my idea of love exist? Or am I being too idealistic? (24F)

Backstory: A little bit of a trigger warning, but helps to understand where I’m coming from.

I didn’t grow up ever truly seeing a loving and healthy relationship. I’m a child of divorce (multiple divorces from both parents), and both of my parents are also children of divorce. I spent my childhood trying to figure out why my dad didn’t love me, only to find out as an adult that my narc mom only loved me because it was easier to disguise herself as a martyr. I spent my teenager years depressed, anxious, anorexic, and abused by my older brother. When I started dating, I became enthralled by another abusive narcissist for a few years. I never understood why I could never be loved the way I needed to be. Since I was a child, I’ve always had so much love to give. So, I did some self healing, and started dating a decent man who loves me (but not in the way I need him to.) Three years later, I’ve done even more healing through lots and lots and lots of therapy.

My ‘idealistic’ view: I finally feel like I have a decent grasp on what love truly means, and what kind of love I want for myself and my future marriage. The only problem is- I’ve never seen it in real life. I want the kind of love where you never stop dating; old people holding hands in the grocery store kind of love. I want the kind of love where my children grow up and look for a marriage like their parents have. I want the kind of love where you can feel it no matter how far away. I want the flowers-just-because, I-made-your-favorite-dinner-because-you-had-a-bad-day, considerate, empathetic kind of love. I want the kind of love that is durable, the kind of marriage you don’t even consider divorce. You have an issue? You solve it as a couple. A team and a partnership, not two people battling against one another, or two roommates who raise children together. A best friend, in the truest sense.

My question: Does this kind of love still exist? Please share some stories to give me some faith, or shed some light so I can adjust my views. Thanks!

TL;DR: 24F asking for help and stories to understand love and relationships better after having a bad definition of love.

Submitted April 19, 2022 at 08:42PM by No_Reception_6006 https://ift.tt/GEBWstn