My wife has seemingly lost all interest in sex with me. Together 7 years, married the last two. Had sex a lot early on. But it got less and less, especially after I moved in around year 1. Went from almost once every other day to now maybe 1 or 2 times a month. All sexuality is gone. No blowjobs or other sexual acts after year 2. Slowly became like a chore or routine for her. Same day of the week. Always before bed. Nothing spontaneous or fun. I used to intitiate a lot but as sex got less and less, and she clearly lost interest, I felt less and less confident. She started not even liking to talk or joke about sex. I also realized recently that the last 90% of the times we've had sex in the last year was only after she had a drink or two. Nothing changed for us physically. Relationship is about the same. I contribute a significant amount more in finances, bills, chores, planning stuff, etc. She spends most of her free time away doing a hobby she loves but can only afford because of finances, and seems to use that as an excuse to just come home and go right to bed most nights. Starting to feel like either one or all of the following - 1) she no longer finds me attractive 2) she no longer cares about me and is just with me for the support I provide financially 3) she is having an affair and so avoids sex with me. All set harsh but nothing else explains just the atmosphere of sexual apathy around her towards me.
I've talked to her in the past. We both agreed to be better at initiating and such. But nothing changed. I am at a loss at this point. I need to know how to bring this all up without either sounding accusatory or mean, while also not just setting myself up for more promises of change. Sex isn't a necessity despite my high sex drive. I can live without it and if I felt like there was a legitimate reason for the state of the sex in this marriage I wouldn't be on here. But again, it's the feeling or apathy, lost interest/avoidance, etc. that has me frustrated, worried and confused.
TLDR: Wife's interest in sex with me has gone down significantly. To a point where it seems like she can only have sex with me if she had a few drinks, and all other times feels like a routine/chore for her. No changes to relationship or appearances. She just doesn't seem to have interest. Not sure what to do.
Submitted December 01, 2021 at 05:58AM by AnomRepeat https://ift.tt/31pZLrC
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