fiercely independent, confident, adventurous, when single but become indecisive, anxious, super dependent in a relationship??

hi. 27 F here with a string of long-term relationships. I have always been super fun, confident, adventurous, capable and independent when I’m single. after detaching from an ex I love being alone, hanging out with friends and taking care of myself. I don’t have issues with taking care of business but in this phase I DO become a little detached from my feelings, like a protective mechanism enacts itself and numbs me out to any butterflies or attachment I could catch for someone else. I just become uninterested and far more concerned with my own world and I have a lot more confidence. Then, like a light switch (or maybe over a short time) when I fall for someone new and become attached to them/comfortable and they’re around a lot I shrink and lose my independence. I get so anxious about doing things, driving places, I can become somewhat agoraphobic and need advice on so many things to make decisions or feel validated, and feel like I can’t do anything on my own. I need their help all the time. I also become this way if i’m around my family for an extended period of time, almost like I regress to being a dependent, anxious kid. this has brought huge burdens and challenges to both me and my past relationships. what the HECK is going on and how/why does this happen?? how to prevent it??

TL;DR: i’m independent, confident, fun, adventurous when single, but i get dependent, anxious, needy, agoraphobic and small as soon as i get attached/comfortable in a relationship and rely on them for too much and it sucks. why??

Submitted December 01, 2021 at 09:12PM by PizzaBobJones https://ift.tt/3d9r1gB