So I met her earlier this year, we were fast friends within a month of meeting and dating after a month, official for 6 months or so. Met her on a night out with some friends.
We live separately but she spends a lot of time at my house as it's nearer to where she works. Our relationship started really nicely, I felt like we just got on really well and she was very supportive of me as well. But recently she's been quite pushy about me making changes to my lifestyle and seems angry and disappointed with the results. The two big ones are my work and what I wear.
As for my work, I work at the same store I've worked at since I was 16, it's just an easy job, pays my bills and I know how to do everything there, I'm basically a manager without the responsibility of actually being a manager as I don't want that level of responsibility for no extra pay. I also make money via stocks and crypto currencies so I don't struggle for money.
As for what I like to wear? I have many jumpers and T shirts of an emo band my friends and I loved when we were young, I genuinely have like 50 or so that I wear a lot because it makes me happy, and doesn't hurt anyone either.
I admit I have a bit of a problem with anxiety, familiarity helps me with it, some family thinks I might have OCD but I've never been diagnosed.
My girlfriend a few weeks ago expressed frustration with my clothes, saying I need to grow up and get new ones. She spends a lot of money to get whatever clothes are in fashion, I don't have a problem with that as it's her money to spend and she isn't hurting anyone. But I don't know why she has a problem with my clothes. The argument was big but resolved and we went shopping and bought me some new clothes, they are actually quite nice and I like wearing them too. A few days later I was wearing a band T shirt again because the new clothes were in the wash and she was really angry about it. I explained the new clothes were in the wash and it wasn't decided that I'd completely stop wearing the band stuff. She wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the day, the next day she had cooled off and explained that she thinks new clothes will help me grow as a person. We talked a long time and I eventually agreed to get rid of the band clothes.
While I was packing them up I started crying and she called me stupid and I asked her to leave. She came back a few hours later and we made up, I packed the boxes into my car and told her I was gonna donate them, she was really pleased and said I was making the right choice getting rid of them. I didn't donate them, I took them to work and I'm keeping them there until further notice, my boss was confused but understanding. I got back home and she'd ordered my lots of new clothes. She told me she understands it was upsetting but I'd be better off for it. That night a few hours later she wanted to talk about my work and why I'm not a manager. I explained to her that I don't want to be.
She's been distant and only talks about how I should ask to be a manager, I've explained why I don't want to be, and that I wouldn't even be paid more, nor is there a need for it at the store. She just keeps saying that I need to fight for a pay rise as well so I can treat us to nice things. I told her that isn't how it works and that I make money in other ways and that she has her own money too so it shouldn't matter. She shouted at me that I'm useless and stormed out. My boss also told me she called the store and asked him why I'm not a manager.
After being upset and feeling useless for a few hours I decided that I don't want to be with her. I realized I don't see my friends as much as I used to because she likes to spend all our free time just us. I just don't feel happy with her anymore and feel like she actually acted differently when we started out just to get close to me, she even said she loved all the band stuff when I first showed her. I think she may be right that new clothes might help me a bit, I genuinely appreciate that and like how I look in some of the clothes we bought. But I also liked how I looked in the band stuff, and still think it wasn't over the top, I'd normally just wear jeans and a T shirt or jumper anyway, I don't think it's as ridiculous as she said it was. I just thought of it as a wearable collection, people collect weirder things.
As well as this, I really don't like that I lied to her about donating the band stuff, it felt horrible and dishonest, my boss and colleagues could tell something was off when I took the boxes into work. I try to be honest as I don't want to upset people.
**TLDR** my gf of 6 months has become controlling and angry at me and made me get rid of some clothes that are special to me, is also trying to get me to become a manager at my work, even called my boss to ask about it. I've decided I want to leave her but I'm scared to because she can be manipulative and angry.
Anyway, I want to break up with her but I know it's gonna be difficult, she's good at talking me into stuff but my mind is made up 100% on this. I'm still not sure when or how to do it though, I'm feeling really anxious about it. Wondering if you guys can give me some advice or help? How can I be assertive about wanting to break up and not have her talk me out of it?
Submitted November 30, 2021 at 06:40AM by PantWearer123 https://ift.tt/3pbCpy8
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