This is so convoluted, I know. We've been off-and-on basically for 6 years. He has amazing earning potential, but he's also got a lot of serious issues, including sometimes struggling to keep a steady job and being dreadful with money. At times he's made a TON of money (far far more than I can ever make) and he's very generous with it with everyone (to his own detriment...never saving anything).
When he was making excellent money, he would throw it around a lot. I'm personally very low maintenance and never ever asked for anything (I'm like the Anti Gold Digger). However, he loves travelling and would often book us tickets for expensive trips. He also would lend money to various people (friends and family).
Two years ago he lost his contract and he's been kind of floundering ever since. He's had smaller contracts here and there, but over the past 2 years he's asked me on a few different occasions if I could lend him money. I've lent him $500 for dental work, $800 for a plane ticket to a family member's funeral, $400 to pay back hydro costs. I've also on a few occasions bought him groceries when his contract work has dried up.
He's also borrowed a lot of money from his dad (who is pretty much tapped out now) and his uncles. He's now really broke and entertaining two different job offers (which will pay him a lot of money). He has an aggressive repayment plan set out for paying back his uncles (who are getting antsy wanting their money).
He's now asking me for $2500 because he cannot pay his rent and he's really freaking out about it. My dilemma: I CAN help him but I don't want to. Does that make me horrible? The reasons I don't want to:
-I feel it's kind of his own fault for being in this stupid position. He could have taken a lower-paying job/contract long ago to pay the bills instead of always holding out for the best (which is much harder to find now).
-I have a much much lower earning potential than he does. Even though I do have that money, it takes me significantly longer to make it than it would for him.
-He does have a new job potential where he'll make a LOT of money, but I know from experience that I won't be first on his list to pay back. In fact, he'll just tell me to move in with him and live rent free (and I don't want to for several reasons right now).
But since I do have the money and he IS my boyfriend (more or less), shouldn't I help him out? He's incredibly stressed out over this, and his dad/uncles/friends won't lend him money.
Any advice?
tldr: boyfriend wants me to lend him money...I do have it to lend, but I don't want to, and I'm wondering if that makes me a total jerk.
Submitted November 25, 2021 at 04:51PM by Maleficent_Limit1465 https://ift.tt/3DQnaRb
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