My boyfriend and I have been in a committed relationship for 4 years. We both live in a big, expensive city where most people we know have roommates. When we started dating, we each lived in 5 bedroom apartments shared with roommates. During an average week, he would stay over for 2-3 nights, and I would do the same.
After 2 years of being in a relationship, I asked him if he wanted to get a one-bedroom apartment. He said he liked his living situation and did not want to move. So I renewed my lease at my apartment and he renewed his. For more context, he lives with 4 other men who are 30-32 years old.
In the upcoming lease-renewal times, I always asked the same question. At this point, he rejected my offer 3 times. He always had responses along the lines of "I don't want to move", or "I like my apartment". By the way, the cost of his room and what I'm paying for my room in the different apartment would get us a decent one-bedroom in the city we're living in.
This has created an ongoing tension and a wall between us. All of our friends who are in relationships live together. And since we are in a city you would need to get a roommate anyways, I cannot understand why he would not want to get our own space where we could decorate as we like, host people, and spend more quality time.
Yesterday, for the 4th time I asked him if he wanted to get an apartment next year. He said he did not think so. I asked why. His answer was simple: "I don't want to". I could not handle it since our relationship has been so good lately. It's really not my personality to force someone into something that they don't want so I just accept this as it is. It really hurts me and I think it's getting to a point where I am considering moving on from our relationship.
My question is: If anyone has gone through a similar thing, what did you do? How did you deal with something like this emotionally? Or any honest points of view will be appreciated. Thank you for reading.
TL;DR: Boyfriend of 4 years won't live with me because he does not want to move out from his apartment that he shares with 4 other men.
Submitted November 27, 2021 at 03:33PM by auntietime https://ift.tt/3laKEcv
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