I'm going bald (against my will) and want to shave my head to take back the power, but my fiancé has said I won't look good bald, and is sticking by his comment, although it upsets me.

Hi. I F20 have been in a relationship with my fiancé M20 for around 2.5 years. Before the pandemic, I was obsessed with the idea of shaving my head, and having it grow back out healthier, as it is very damaged and far from its natural wavy state.

When I first broached the topic with my then boyfriend now fiancé. He wasn't for it, in fact was pretty set against it, saying he didn't think I would look good that way, and we don't know what my head shape will look like, and he's never seen me with such a drastic change and don't think he'd like it. Which, in my opinion, is a bit unfair bcus while we've been together I've had 7 different hair colours and lengths. I like to change it up every now and again.

I was eventually turned against the idea, even though I wanted to raise money for mental health awareness whilst shaving it. I then caught Covid in October 2020, and again in November 2020, and I've been quite ill ever since, getting diagnosed with a new health issue every couple of months. I forgot all about the shaving my head and moved on.

Background info over, this brings me to the past 2 weeks. My hair has been falling out. Intensely. I wake up in the morning with massive clumps of hair all over my pillow, it just falls out. I have developed a large bald spot appear at the front of my head, with massive red sores all over my scalp. I went in for an appointment with my GP, and she took a swab and said I would need a blood test before anything happened, I'm yet to have the blood test, but I've actually already been put on antibiotics based on the results of my swab, for a skin infection, which is making my hair fall out, in the places I have sores.

My mum was the first one to mention shaving my head again, because I am so sick, I can only manage a hair wash once a week, and as my full time carer, as she helped me wash, she mentioned how much easier showering would be if I shaved my head, we laughed.

In the past two weeks she has shown more support for me shaving my head, even though was previously dead against the idea. I originally decided I didn't want to shave my head, bcus before it was going to be a fun thing, a dramatic change, it would be a fresh start for my hair, it would be MY CHOICE. And now it's not, the power has been taken away from me, and I'm losing my hair against my will, my scalp is sore and slightly swollen and I feel very sad about it. But I have been thinking about it, and talking it over with mum and my fiancé, and I've decided I can take the power back and shave it off before it all falls out.

I talked with my fiancé last weekend and again today, and he basically said he hasn't changed his mind from his first comment, he doesn't think I will look good bald and doesn't like the idea of it, bcus he has no idea what I'll look like. I got upset and tried to explain to him that I need his support, bcus this is a big thing for me, something I can't control and I'm trying to take the power back, and he doesn't seem to be hearing me. I asked him again if he changed his mind and if he has anything supportive to say about it, and he just said that I keep asking him to change his first statement but he can't and won't and then I ended the conversation bcus I was getting too stressed and stress can make me physically unwell.

I'm really upset, bcus all I want is support, and I want to feel more confident about the decision, and him standing by his original statement of me not looking good bald is hurtful bcus I'm gonna end up bald anyways, whether I shave it or not, and hes not helping me feel any better.

Im really sad about it, and no matter how I try to word it, he seems stubborn and stuck with his decision and doesn't seem to be hearing me. I don't know how to make him listen to me, and I don't know if I can, if I just have to put up with the fact that when I become bald, he will spend the entire time with me thinking about how I don't look good. What do I do? How can I talk to him about how I'm feeling? How do I make him understand how hurt I am?

TLDR: At the beginning of my F20 relationship with my fiancé M20, I was really into the idea of shaving my head, and raising money for charity whilst doing it. Everyone was dead set against the idea, and eventually persuaded me not to. In November 2020 I became ill after catching Covid a second time, and I've been really ill ever since. In the past two weeks my hair has fallen out, and I've developed a large bald spot at the front of my head, and my hair continues to fall out intensely. The hair loss is the result of a skin infection on my scalp and I've been put on a course of antibiotics. My mum has suggested I take back the power of shaving my head before it all falls out, whereas my fiancé isn't for the idea, and is sticking by his original comment from the start of our relationship, I won't look good bald. I've tried to discuss it with him, but he is stubborn and doesn't seem to see how upset I am, bcus I have no control over the hair loss, and will eventually lose my hair and become bald anyways.

What do I do? How can I talk to him about how I'm feeling? How do I make him understand how hurt I am? I need his support on this.

Submitted November 28, 2021 at 02:47AM by frizzyeasehair https://ift.tt/3cZ67Rg