I get really upset after holiday meals. My spouse (36f) is super into cooking and spends weeks ‘planning’ ( thinking about/‘deciding’) thanksgiving dinner. She also always ‘supervises’ in the kitchen when I am cooking and can’t resist offering her opinions and best practices. It feels so stifling. I’ve stopped cooking because it’s now always an opportunity for her to impose her opinion on something I used to enjoy. For example, I love mashed potatoes but wasn’t allowed to make them this year because she decided on a specific recipe at the last minute and I guess I didn’t have enough skill to pull it off… so she made every single thing for Thanksgiving but the gravy, which I made from scratch bc she got too overwhelmed with everything else. Half of dinner was cold and she got super stressed out.
Yet she can’t plan out a simple dinner with two sides unless I remind her about ingredients, time to make each dish, etc. (she has ADHD so can collect recipes but can’t coordinate when each dish will be done, for example). She’s an amateur (but good) chef and wants to start her own cooking business one day despite not having any business savvy and also being physically disabled (unable to work on her feet all day). I am the family breadwinner and work 10+ hours a day easy. So she does cook some days and also works an easy job. This thanksgiving she could not resist nit-picking literally everything I did, from chopping to cleaning things to pie crust making. And then she frames my errors as housekeeping mistakes (I spent time on a pie crust and forgot about a candle in the bathroom - easily cleaned and still aesthetically pleasing). My dad is in town and I’ve been spending a lot of time mediating between her idea of a good time and his. Of course, I’m always expected to clean anything she makes.
Should I just leave her be? Encourage her dreams of being a cook/chef/food business owner despite her inability to budget or work on her feet every day?
Edit:few words for clarity
Tl;dr: Wife has ADHD and a ‘special passion’ for cooking that ends up w me shut out of the kitchen but expected to clean. What would you do? Am I an asshole? She is a great cook.
Submitted November 25, 2021 at 08:53PM by pansypolaroid https://ift.tt/3p3Vthr
No comments:
Post a Comment