Should I [f, 44] ask my husband [m, 45] to not be so chatty and friendly with stepmother who I don’t like

We are visiting my dad and his wife for the first time in 10 years. Very long complicated story but we have been out of touch for most my 30’s. My dad has put forth effort into having a relationship with me the last 4 years through email, 1 visit, sending gifts to my kids.
My husband and I and our 3 kids chose to make the 8 hour drive and go visit him this thanksgiving, after asking if it was alright. Been here one day. It’s going alright but by the end of the day I just wanted to run away. I was especially bothered last night at dinner.
I get my dads wife doesn’t like me. I certainly do not like her. She is the main reason why my dad and I have had serious problems. And he’s let it happen. They are rich they’re home is lavished while I think of my mom who will probably struggle in her retirement. I gushed about their home and tried to be nice. She is very nice to my husband and kids and is cordial to me which is fine but I find myself just sitting there invisible while she and my dad chat up my very extroverted husband.
She is very manipulative and obnoxious. Always has been. She sat across me at dinner with her body turned away from toward my husband. I watched them laugh and talk the whole time. I can’t help but think why does she get to do this with my husband while I have to sit here awkwardly. It just sucks and then I feel annoyed at husband for entertaining them so much. I am very much bothered by him so easily talking somebody up who has caused me so much pain. I tried to talk it’s like I’m not even there. Am dreading today. Should I let my husband know this is hard and to please not talk so much? I just want to run away.

TL;DR! Awkward very long over due visit with my dad and his wife. Is it alright to ask extroverted husband to not be so friendly with a woman who ripped my family apart as teen and near destroyed my relationship with my dad over the years? Or I am being stupid?

Submitted November 25, 2021 at 04:16AM by slr0031 https://ift.tt/3xmwn1b