I (33/f) traveled out of state with my mom over the weekend, and came home to find my husband (34/m) acting different. He later told me he had smoked DMT. He had been planning to do it for weeks without telling me.

This was the first time my husband and I have ever been apart in almost 8 years, and he is my very best friend. So I am very confused by this happening. I know it obviously could have been worse, but we tell each other everything, and to know that he had been planning this for weeks, bought the DMT from his coworker, lied about it, and had it in his possession when he kissed me goodbye, just feels off to me. Almost hurtful?

My husband is a daily weed smoker and we live in a state where it is legal. I have no problem with him smoking weed and even partake myself sometimes. He mentioned DMT a couple months ago, that 3 of his coworkers do it sometimes, but that is all he said and he did not express a desire to do it himself. My response was basically like "oh, cool. I don't really know much about it" because I don't. We changed topics easily and it was not awkward or anything.

So I come home last night, and my husband is different. I know him so well, and I honestly felt like I did not truly recognize him. I figured he was just so happy to see me, but he seemed... weird. The energy was off. We had been texting all weekend and talked on the phone multiple times, including just a couple hours before he did it. I asked him what he was going to do that night, if he had plans to hang out with his friend, and he just responded that he decided to stay home and take it easy. He could have told me then but didn't.

After I got home last night, I finally was just like, "Hey babe, is everything okay? You seem to be acting different." And he blurts out, "I did DMT." I was taken back a little, and he just goes into this long explanation of his trip and how it has changed his life and he sees everything so clearly now, and all of the pinks and purples and diamond shapes and how he met other "beings" and felt their energy and so blessed to have been able to exist in their space. He said he felt like he spent a whole lifetime there. I don't know what to think. Listening to him talk and the way his face looked, I was just so shocked. It was like a different person.

I have felt strange all day. Upset? Hurt? This isn't normal because my husband and I normally have a wonderful relationship and I always feel confident and content. But I cannot shake this uneasy feeling. I also feel worried because though DMT does not seem to be addictive from what I've read, my husband has struggled with drug abuse in the past. Maybe he knew I would worry if he told me, so that is why he didn't?

The day before I left, his coworker called him, and he was acting strange on the phone. He got off the phone and said "That was just ____ from work. He has some weed for me." I was like okay? But they were actually talking about DMT, which was confirmed last night when I asked. So my husband lied to me, easily and really for no reason.

I don't know. I don't know what to do or say. Am I overreacting? Am I under-reacting? I truly cannot figure this one out. I am thinking of approaching him with my feelings, but I do not want to come across as judgmental, though I do worry about his history with drug abuse and the stark difference in his behavior last night. How should I approach this? Do I just leave it alone and work on my own feelings? Any thoughts would be much appreciated because I'm really at a loss.

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tl;dr: My husband did DMT the first time we have been apart in 8 years. Had been planning it for weeks, lied to me when he was talking to his coworker about it and said they were talking about weed, and is now acting very different. I have no idea what to think or how to approach this situation.

Submitted November 29, 2021 at 02:21PM by the-sarcasanova https://ift.tt/3FWrPSf