TLDR booking a space for my bday and only 10 people are coming. feeling like a loser
I've booked a table at a bar for my birthday and realised I only have 10 friends to invite. They're the number of friends I have who I would meet up with on my own and spend time with just us. But all of them have had parties where they invited hundreds of people. I feel like there's something wrong with me if at this age I only have a handful of friends who will turn up to my birthday and I'm embarrassed that they will all arrive and realise that I'm a massive loser? I just feel low and anxious. Plus my bf will be there and he hasn't met any of my friends yet. He always talks about how I seem like a really social and bubbly person so will he just wonder wtf is wrong with me when my rag tag group of friends arrive?
I'm not great at maintaining friendships. Two of my closest friends just dropped me one day when we were in our early 20s after years of friendship with no explanation and I was bullied in school. I am friendly and I think I appear more confident than I am but I'm scared everyone will realise that I'm actually just a loser and not want to be my friend anymore. I know this sounds really immature but I haven't done anything for my bday in years and it's just forcing me to reckon with some things in my life lol
Submitted November 25, 2021 at 04:44AM by Fantastic-Abroad2323 https://ift.tt/3CVxrdw
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