My (34F) relationship with my BF (33M) suddenly changed. I don't know what to do and how to restore things again.

Hello,

I (34F) have been dating my current BF (33M) for three years right now. The first two years were really great. We both work in the same field, we're both teaching assistance at the university.

Around a year ago (to be precise 13 months), I started to prepare for the final phase of my PhD. He already finished his. I have a problem that when I do something important I tend to focus all of my beings on that thing and disregard everything else. Which did happen in this case. I focused so much on my studies and research that I (and I acknowledge that) totally ignored my BF. Another thing I must acknowledge is that he was the perfect partner throughout this entire period. He would help me with my tasks, cook for me, motivate me when I'm down, etc.

During those times we become sort of like roommates. We never had sex during this period, never went out on dates, I was fully absorbed in my things that I didn't even realize all of that.

Last week I got the degree, and it was supposed to be my happiest day ever. He took me to party afterwards, and I enjoyed myself. When we got back home, I approached him to kiss him and he stopped me, saying that we'll speak tomorrow.

The next day he informed me he'll be leaving me. That was the shock of my life cause up to this moment I thought everything was perfect. He mentioned how I ignored him this year, and how he struggled with feelings of abandonment, that he became at the bottom of my priorities that I didn't even notice that he slept on the couch the past couple of months, (I honestly swear to God didn't notice this, I thought our sleeping schedules didn't match that's all), and that he stayed with me to fulfill his duties as a BF until I got my degree and stand on my feet but now he wants an out of this relationship and he can't continue anymore.

I was shocked to the core by this, cause I didn't even know there was a problem, he never mentioned anything to me all this period of time. I tried to apologize, and we both cried. But he was adamant on this.

Two nights ago he started to pack his things up, and we got into a heated argument with lots of crying on my end, and I told him that we should never give up on our relationship and should fight for it.

He didn't say anything, he only said (I don't know), he didn't pack his things and leave until now, but he spends all of his days outside and only comes in the evening to sleep. When he comes he asks me how am I doing? and whether I need anything or any help? then he starts to clean after himself, help clean the house, take a shower and sleep on the couch. We don't have small talk, I don't know what he wants. I tried to tell him that we need to talk, and he said -again- (I don't know), and then said (Why?!) which I didn't know how to respond to.

I don't know what should I do right now, or how to deal with the situation at all. I'm really at a loss here.

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Tl;DR! Due to my studies, without realizing it I ignored my BF for a very long time, he was nice enough to stay by me until I gained my degree, but now he wants an out and I want to win him back over. I don't know what to do or how to make this happen.

Submitted November 25, 2021 at 05:14AM by ThrowRAone4 https://ift.tt/3l9sXtQ