So I’m [31f] a first time mom to a 6 month old daughter. And ever since she was born, it’s become harder and harder for me to be around my father. What I mean by that is everything about his views, behaviours, comments, etc bothers me now. It’s gradually gotten worse and worse and I’m now at a point where I’m starting to actively avoid him. So clearly, there’s a deeper problem here.
My father and I never really saw eye to eye on many things. I’m a progressive, he’s a conservative. I’m a feminist, he has lots of very sexist views. He’s often casually racist or homophobic which also grinds my gears. He also often behaves like he’s superior to most other people; he never really apologizes for anything because the fault always lies with someone else in his mind… I can’t even stand to be in a car with him because he complains about literally every other driver and pedestrian even when they objectively haven’t done anything. It makes me wanna bang my head against a wall. There’s more but I think you get the picture.
All these things already bothered me before I became a mom. But after having my daughter it’s like I’ve developed an allergy to him. Before I had my daughter, I would just argue with him quite a bit over all these things, but after I had her, it’s like I lost the strength to argue. I just don’t wanna hear it anymore. I just don’t wanna be around him, and I don’t want my daughter to be around him either. But I feel like that’s not an option. He and my mom are still together, and my mom and I get on very well. I have brought this up with her and she even said she understands why I try to avoid him, that she sees what’s bothering me, but we couldn’t really find a solution for the problem. I’m also going to bring this up to my therapist (I’ve wanted to for weeks but somehow couldn’t get the words out). My husband can’t really help me either because it’s obviously an issue between my father and myself that he doesn’t wanna get involved in. I have not talked to my father about this (I wouldn't know how), but he's starting to notice that I'm avoiding him.
So I was wondering if any of you guys have experienced something similar? What does this sound like to you? Do I have options here that I’m not seeing? Any advice?
tl;dr: Ever since I had my daughter, I don't wanna be around my father anymore because his views and behaviors are making me angry and sad. I don't know how to get out of this situation.
Submitted November 01, 2021 at 05:29AM by WurmiMama https://ift.tt/3CMTNhW
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