Would you stay with your girlfriend if her parents were racist and she was defensive and strangely oblivious to it?

For context, I'm white, my girlfriend is white, and her parents are white. They are also divorced. We've been together 3 years and about a year ago we went to stay with her dad and step mom for a week and he was repeatedly making racist jokes. I could tell he meant them. I didn't tell him off but brought it up to my girlfriend one night how uncomfortable it made me. She proceeded to defend her dad, saying he's only joking, and got mad at me for saying something along the line of "I wish you would have warned me so I could be prepared." She said I was overreacting and I just didn't like her dad. Months later, he called me drunk one night and dropped the N word like 10 times. I hung up. Point settled. He's clearly racist. I asked her to say something to him and she still hasn't because she's scared of him but did say something to the step mom about how inappropriate it was. I guess she was hoping the step mom would tell him?

Her real mom has also said things to her like, "I don't want you dating a black man." And when I told my girlfriend that's a racist comment, she defended her mom and said she's not racist she just cares about how her daughter is treated. This made me question whether my girlfriend is racist. I firmly believe she is not, just highly defensive of her family. She has never given me any reason to think she is racist. But she is pretty judgmental of liberals and liberal ideals. I'm a centrist, so again, not a huge issue but kind of strange that she doesn't reciprocate this to both sides. Probably because her family is highly republican.

The racist things bother me dearly, mostly my girlfriend's reactions and how she seems to be oblivious to it. Most of the questions previously posted about this kind of stuff are all interracial couples.

Given that I'm white, I can probably tell her dad to cool it if he acts up again and maybe it won't be too much of a long-term problem.

But would her defense of them bother you enough to leave?

TL;DR my girlfriend defends her parents racist comments and is strangely oblivious to it

Submitted October 02, 2021 at 08:09PM by growthguide2021 https://ift.tt/3l11KtE