I’m 25 years old, 6 feet tall, athletic. People have been calling me handsome my whole life, what I know is not superfluous is that I’ve been brought up to be kind and empathetic.
Through Almost all of my dating experience Since I was in highschool; it seems as though thee end of my relationships end in a terrible manner of disloyalty and dishonesty. I’ve been cheated on 4 out of 5 of my relationships; be that long or short term.
I recently went through a terribly painful breakup with someone who I’d known for years and who I dated for about a year (23y/o). She met a new co worker at her first serving job out of covid lockdowns. I battled my insecurities for about a month revolving around the fact that they had begun to spend more and more time together. I spoke to her on 5 separate occasions about how it was beginning to make me feel. The trust was eroding as She was becoming more and more dismissive of what I had expressed regarding their new friendship. I let flirty texts slide as a mistake or as a fling because I loved and trusted her so much. I know a mature relationship includes platonic friendships and she had promised and reassured me everything was okay; that she loved me and i had nothing to worry about. My heart was slowly breaking as I could feel something was not right..
I discovered she had invited him to stay the night at her friend’s place where we were supposed to Spend 2 days together. I had arrived there the morning after she had been out with her girlfriends. She invited me there to have breakfast together. It was only afew blocks from my house.
She was very hungover, had prayed to the porcelain Deity. Things felt normal until I found two Miller highlife bottles (his taste of beer). Which Were half drank on the counter. I Asked about the bottles and she denied it. I checked her phone as a last straw and to my disbelief; she had actually had him over. Things blew up when I addressed her lie and she owned up to having him over that night, as well as making out etc. She swore they didn't have sex.
She was upset and apologetic. But she had texted him that morning about her puking... while I was there with her down the hall.
I had been so vulnerable and open with her about how it had all made me feel leading up to this because I truly thought she would hear my words and care. I’ve never felt so betrayed. We spoke there for 8 hours. We took afew days of space and by the time we had decided to speak with one another again; I was filled with hope and forgiveness. I processed it all with empathy in mind. People make mistakes right?
We broke up that evening we spoke. We Decided to see eachother Casually if we wanted to. Establish Space for growth but room for the love that was left so raw. That went on for about two weeks.
I saw her and Her cheat coworker Walking from where I knew he had lived on my way to work one morning afew days ago. She had obviously stayed the night with him. This was the final bow to my empathy and love for her.
She texted me after we had locked eyes as I rode past them. Apologising again and claiming her respect and love for me. That afternoon I decided to go speak to her at her home. All of the most painful, self realising anger has bubbled up and I no longer wanted to keep her close to me. I said all of the things I had wanted to say for weeks and weeks. I denied her Attempted acknowledgment of respect and love, I told her how It had all truly made me feel. I cut my ties with her.
I’m so tired of feeling like the people I grow to love and trust end up metaphorically dying. Another Person who Embraced my whole self feels like a body-snatched husk of who they were. I’m so tired of being open and choosing to love. And after so many versions of this that I have gone through; I’m incredibly scared of ever opening up to someone again because my faith in goodness in others has died as well.
TL;DR Long term friend and girlfriend Cheated on me after I addressed my concerns around her new “friend’s” involvement in her life. I had told her about my history of being betrayed and cheated on before years ago. She cheated on me anyway. After weeks of good will and empathy The final straw broke my will of love completely. I spoke my truths and cut ties from her.
Submitted October 03, 2021 at 10:33PM by Aggressive-Meal-8233 https://ift.tt/3AacgTN
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