TDLR: My (25F) boyfriend (25M) “cheated” on me on my birthday and he doesn’t remember. I’m confused.
To make this as short as I can - we have been together for over two years. Essentially what happened was for my birthday I invited my friends and we all went to a bar via a private bus there and back.
Anyways at the bar we all got pretty drunk and we were fine, happy. Then we moved on to a Karaoke Bar and I was busy with my friends and we were all just drinking, dancing and what not.
At this point he got a bag of coke (I was unaware of this he told me after the night) and only had a line or two. Night went on everything was fine time to get on the bus. I didn’t get on the bus with him as I was with my cousin and was at the front of the bus. I knew he was on the bus but probably with his mates at the back.
The day after I get a message from my friend saying that he was trying to touch her up on the bus and hook up with her. He also was grabbing and slapping her ass. She also told me as soon as we left kick ons he immediately followed her on Instagram (wouldn’t be an issue at all if the events prior did not occur). A week after another friend said he tried to do the same but she moved away.
This all happened on my birthday, on the same bus I was on full of my friends.
To further this story after the bus (on the night I was unaware this all happened) we all went to ours friends house to kick on. At kicks ons he was doing plenty of coke. He was acting so strange around my other friend and whenever she was in the toilet he would go in and close the door, she would straight away come out to distance herself from him. Her, her boyfriend thought it was weird too. He was acting like a horny college boy at kick ons. I didn’t say anything at the time as I didn’t want to cause a scene. As soon as we got home, he told me he wanted to have a threesome with my best friend and I. This is not something I would ever be comfortable with or agree too and I told him that. He knows that already. I also told him when he sobers up the next day we would be having a chat about how he was behaving bearing in mind I did not know what happened on the bus.
Anyways after my friend told me what happened on the bus the next day, I went straight to his house and asked him “what did you” he starts crying and having a meltdown saying he doesn’t know, doesn’t remember anything about the bus ride at all. He remembers how he was behaving at kick ons and told me when he is on coke he gets urges to invite other females to have sex with us. He only told me this because I was prying it out of him. He told me he never has these thoughts when sober, only on coke. I don’t know if I believe him. He begged me to forgive him, he will stop doing drugs etc etc. Promised he will do anything to fix us.
I know this whole situation is messed up and usually I’d be the first to break up and leave over something like this it is unforgivable. Im confused, hurt and feel betrayed. I need answers and I want to understand what happened but he can’t give me any because he can’t remember apparently.
My question: 1. Is this cheating? And is this something we can work through? 2. Is it believable that he doesn’t remember a single thing on the bus despite him never having memory loss issues when he has previously done coke? 3. Is this him? Is this the person he is? Does coke change the way people behave drastically like this? In my head I’m thinking this is who he really is and is just able to suppress it when he is sober but coke brings it out of him.
Any advice would be appreciated. It’s a strange situation and I’m not sure what to do or believe.
Submitted October 04, 2021 at 06:07AM by throwRAanon88 https://ift.tt/3AbmMtI
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