My (F17) parents (F52 and M63) are trying to force me to date my friend "Alex" (M17).
For context, Alex and I used to be pretty close friends back in middle school, and I had a little crush on him back then. We grew apart in high school, but just about two weeks ago, we rekindled our friendship. It's been really great to get to know him again, and we hung out once one-on-one.
My parents really like Alex, they see him as the perfect kind of guy for me. Yeah, he's great. He's nice, he's smart, he has a good sense of humor, etc. But I only see him as a friend. At first, being friends with him again got me caught up in all the excitement, and I thought my past feelings for him had returned. But after hanging out with him, I realized I really only have platonic feelings for him. He's truly a lovely person, but I don't think the two of us would ever really work in a romantic relationship.
But my parents refuse to accept the fact that I have no interest in dating him. We've gotten into several arguments over the past few days about it. They've been yelling at me saying "well I guess you don't want to end up with anyone who's nice, then." As well as telling me that I need to just be patient and try with him anyway, because they really want me to be with him.
Along with this, they're now trying to control my other friendships in the hopes that I'll give up and force myself to date Alex. Another friend of mine, "James" (M18), who I've only been friends with for a month or so, has been causing a lot of problems in my parents' eyes, even though they've never met him. I went with James for a walk at the park, and they got mad at me for it, saying I was out too late and need to come home earlier. (We were at the park until about 10pm, my curfew is at 11pm, and the park was still full of people walking around when we left.)
My mom told me "hanging out with James is a red flag" and said that ever since I've been friends with James, all I do is "hide in my room in the darkness." But when I'm talking to Alex, I'm "out in the living room and socializing." Yesterday was the only day I was "hiding out in my room" because I was tired of being criticized for not wanting to date Alex! James and I have been friends since late June, Alex and I only just became friends again, so her claim about James being bad and making me isolate myself is completely baseless.
I have another friend, "Alyssa" (F17), who I became friends with a few months ago, and now they don't want me around her either, because they want me to focus on Alex. I don't have a lot of friends, and I only just recently made a few. My parents know how lonely I've been and how happy my new friends make me, but suddenly, none of that matters, just because they think I absolutely need to date Alex and prioritize feelings that I don't even have.
I turn 18 in less than a month, so I know they won't be able to control me for much longer. But what can I even do to make this month bearable? I want to be able to spend time with my friends without all of the criticism from my parents just because I don't allow them to control every aspect of my life. Is there anything I can say to them to get them to understand that I will never be romantically interested in Alex? I've tried to communicate this to them, but they're the kind of parents who often say "I can do whatever I want, I'm the parent" so listening/understanding isn't their strong suit.
TLDR; My parents want me to date one of my friends, and are limiting my interactions with my other friends because I won't do what they want.
Submitted August 05, 2021 at 12:58PM by pluvioss https://ift.tt/37vGQep
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