My (30F) boss (45F) doesn't listen when I tell her who I am; she is acting like an armchair psychologist

My boss is amazing in so many ways. She gives us extra time off in addition to our company-allotted vacation time. She has been helpful when my coworker and I were sick and out on short-term disability. She goes above and beyond to show she cares about us.

My issue is, it's sometimes TOO MUCH. I don't want to always talk about my feelings at work. I want to finish my work and then go back to my personal life. She also seems to over-analyze me. I feel like she's trying to act like a psychologist without having the credentials. She will ask us our feelings and experiences, especially during the pandemic because she wanted to check in and make sure we are doing okay. But when I say that I'm ok, she doesn't really believe me.

For example, while I did have some struggles during 2020, most of which were not related to the pandemic (and I shared them with her/was very open about them!), I was still thriving. I am an introvert and I honestly loved being able to stay at home with my partner and my cat. I took up some hobbies and really had a good time enjoying the slow pace of life, being fortunate not to have my close loved ones die of COVID. A few months ago before I got vaccinated, I said that COVID was starting to catch up to me and I would like to be able to go see my family. She said that while I thought I was thriving during 2020, she actually "saw signs" back in October that I was struggling. I told her I wasn't sure what she was talking about, because I had a great end of the year personally and professionally, and my work performance was not suffering. She insisted that I just couldn't see that I was struggling personally at that time. But I know how I felt, so I'm not sure what she is talking about. It feels like she is making things up about me.

She tries to put us in these boxes that make her "understand" us better. She insisted that I am not an introvert because I am good with people and talkative. I told her that I am still an introvert, explained why, and told her I have felt this way all my life. She still insists that I'm "not as much of an introvert" as I think. I know she says these things to get me to open my mind and consider other possibilities, but I told her who I am and she isn't listening.

She is trying to mentor me and told me that because I am so good with people, I will always need to have a work environment in which I work in groups and have lots of communication with people. I told her that it is a strength of mine, but that doesn't mean I like to do it or want my professional life to be set up that way. She insists that I love working in groups and will be unhappy if those "needs" aren't met.

She sounds super annoying when I write it out like this, but she has really been an AMAZING boss and advocate in so many ways, and I know her intentions are good. But these things are getting me angry.

How can I talk to her about this in a polite way?

TL;DR: My boss is so kind and amazing, but tries too hard to analyze me and it's exhausting. It's starting to make me mad because it's like she isn't listening to me.

Submitted August 25, 2021 at 05:07AM by NotAllPositive13 https://ift.tt/3jc0xPg