TL;DR: I have depression and low libido. Wife is feeling disconnected and had high libido, but now has decreased over the last month. Wife spoke to me about guys at work flirting with her and it makes her feel good. I snoop through messages. Wife is sending flirty texts to her boss and has mentioned to her best friend that "he's so fucking hot" and that if he wasn't married, she wouldn't know what she'd do.
Hi everyone.
Sorry if this is a bit all over, I can't really get my mind around everything yet. For context, we've been married for about 3 and a half years.
So the story starts, I got home the other day after staying overnight down South for work the night prior. When I walked in, I found my wife laying on the couch in an odd mood. I've been coming down with a bit of a cold recently, so I hopped into the shower, and laid in bed to relax.
About 30 minutes later, she came in and laid next to me. I could tell something was wrong, so I asked her what was going on and she said that she's been feeling disconnected recently. Prior to this, she had been sick for a week and holed up in our bedroom while I stayed in the living room because I had some important meetings for work that I couldn't miss, and we're trying to be more conscious about spreading germs in general.
While she was sick, I took care of her, bringing her food, water, drinks, meds., etc. Prior to her getting sick, she had spent 6 days out of town for work, on the 16th to the 22rd. So she made mention that since she had been away from home and then sick, she'd felt disconnected and just off.
For the record, I have been going through a bit of a depressive bout recently and I've been trying new medications and they've kind of killed my libido from trying three or four different ones in the past 5 months. Been going to therapy and all that, it just takes time according to my therapist. But outside of that, I'm still communicative and loving, my libido is the main thing that it's effecting.
So she continues on that she understands that I'm dealing with stuff mentally and that it's taking effect on my sex drive, but that her sex drive is also diminishing. That was weird to hear, since prior to like a month ago, her sex drive was through the roof, and has been since we started dating. She said that she doesn't want that, and that a healthy sex life is important to her in the long run, which I understand. We still have a sex life, it's just not as frequent as she'd like. Probably about once a week.
She continued onto say that she used to have butterflies all the time, but now not so much, but she still gets them. And then she said something that stuck with me.
She works in a predominately male field, and she's a fucking killer at what she does. She's already being looked at to be the next boss, and I can't explain how happy that makes me. However, she mentioned that, "I have a lot of male coworkers and sometimes they flirt, and I feel guilty, but I kind of like it, and it makes me feel good."
Don't get me wrong, I love receiving a compliment, who doesn't. That stung a little, but I get it.
Fast forward to today. I woke up this morning, my wife had already left for work. I vaguely remember her giving me a small kiss before she left. I'm working from home since I'm not feeling too great. Last nights conversation just keeps playing on repeat in my head. I remember that she has an iPad, and I did something I probably shouldn't have, but I snooped.
I opened up her messages on her iPad and found a text thread between her and her boss [30s/M/Married]. They constantly work together, and he constantly tells her that she is going to be the next boss with how great she is at her job. I scroll through a bit and start feeling nauseous as I read their messages.
[Context: Talking about her being the next boss]
Wife: Careful what you wish for ;)
Boss: I'm not scared... I can handle haha
Wife: We'll see... you're always saying m a hard girl to please lol that probably wouldnt get any better if I was your boss ;)
Boss: I like that. I love a good challenge :P Do your worst lol. Eager to find out what that looks like hahahah! Have a good weekend
Wife: Guess you'll have to wait and see ;)
[Context: She was hoping to get a ride with him to their site for the day]
Boss: I know it's a bummer we were gonna have our guy bring it out, but he got bumped for "[insert name]"
Wife: It's fine... I'll just cry myself to sleep about it ;P
Boss: We'll get our chance next time ;)
I also saw that she had texted her best friend about it and that she said that "he's super fucking hot, but he's married, but if he wasn't, I don't know what I'd do...." Her friend said, "You're married, not dead, people can flirt with you."
The real kicker came in here. The messages stopped on the 16th. All of them. She had turned off her iMessage when she went out of town for work. Now, I don't think she did anything down there cause the guy was up north, and we still texted and called everynight, and she was definitely at work, but that one fact just really makes me nauseous, almost like it's an attempt to hide whatever is on her phone. Especially since I know for a fact that they're still texting, cause I saw her texting him about work the other day.
Again, I'm sorry for the mixed up everything, my mind is all over. I just don't know what to do or anything right now. I don't know if I'm overreacting or if this is straight up cheating or a grey area.
Submitted August 02, 2021 at 02:49PM by throwmeaway71717823 https://ift.tt/2WRXHWY
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