Because of COVID, the past couple years, My S/O's annual income is in within the range of 200k-300k. Even with such salary, she stresses so much about not making enough. I spoke to her and asked why and she tells me that it is because she has student loans and not enough money in her savings...
She currently lives with her parents. We are planning on moving in together beginning of 2022 and she's extremely worried that the move in will drain her entire life savings... I am extremely financially literate and grew up in a poor income household and even with living in a HCOL area, I calculated our move-in expense and told her that each of us will break no more than $3,000. This amount will include rent, security deposit, furniture, and any other move-in related items. That amount will only take 20% of her current savings. However, even then she always emphasizes that she is going to work more to make more.
My concern is her work-life is going to affect our relationship. I work a conventional M-F job whereas her job can be any day of the week, including weekends. There are days where she might be gone for several days and when she comes home, it takes about 1-2 days for her to recover. We live 10 minutes away from each other and only see each other 1-2x a week. She keeps telling me that once we move in, she's going to work more to recover her loss in her savings.
- Comparing her student debt, she only has about 20,000 left to pay off. She originally had $100,000 but managed to pay 80% in 3 years. Ever since the Pandemic Forbearance was introduced, she stopped paying and the 20k debt has been the same.
- She has about $10k in cash stored in a safe at her parents house with an additional $10k in her savings . She wants to always keep the balance at $20k and never want it to drop. I told her that this emergency cash is meant to be used one day during an emergency. To be honest, I don't think she would even be willing to use her emergency savings even if it was an actual emergency. Even with a well amount of emergency money with no bills to pay, she always worries that it'll drop and she'll be broke...
- She started developing a spending problem... Ever since she started earning a lot, her credit card spending has drastically increased. We are talking about $100+ dinners , ordering through postmate, spending $100+ at target, buying groceries for her family, and 10000% online shopping... I spoke to her a couple times about her spending habit, but I generally don't say anything because that is her money and it isn't my decision on how she wants to spend it.
I also educate her on ways to save money and start her retirement fund for the future. Comparing each others portfolio, she doesn't have any general retirement accounts such as 401k/ROTH IRA/Investment Portfolio, etc... I have given her multiple advise to start one but she refuses.
I feel like i've given it my all in educating her about saving and being financially educated. I don't interject with her spending because it isn't my money, but her always stressing to me about not having enough money is very ironic and is starting to stress me out.. I'm worried about our future because once we move in, she says she will most likely not be home very much because she'll be working more... Im worried that she's moving towards the direction of a workaholic that will affect our relationship... How do I calm her down and show her how good her life is right now and to not worry too much about money when she is making enough?
tl;dr S/O stresses about having not enough money while making so much. She is starting to show signs of becoming a workaholic. Worried that it will affect our relationship.
EDIT: I've been getting many DMs about what we both do for our career.... I work in Finance and she's a travel nurse
Submitted August 03, 2021 at 08:35PM by thisisathrowaway0911 https://ift.tt/3jhQuHf
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